Porn or Facebook -- Chose Her Own Adventure

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All else equal, which would you rather your wife devoted a daily block of her time to?

1) Social media and gossip news
1
3%
2) LDS.org
4
13%
3) Porn/erotica sites, for education and plenty of masturbation
27
84%
 
Total votes : 32

Porn or Facebook -- Chose Her Own Adventure

Postby sigmund » Thu Sep 17, 2015 6:17 pm

IMPORTANT: Just because she spends this regular block of her day (two hours at most) on one option does NOT mean she never does any of the other two. The point is, that it's a consistent daily chunk of her spare time invested in.
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Re: Porn or Facebook -- Chose Her Own Adventure

Postby Quest » Tue Sep 22, 2015 1:20 am

dh loves the idea of me getting off during the day watching or reading erotica. The more I masturbate, in our experience, the higher my libido is. I've only seen positive benefits from my porn and erotica enjoyment.
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Re: Porn or Facebook -- Chose Her Own Adventure

Postby UtahAl » Fri Nov 13, 2015 11:24 pm

Social media is a waste of time. LDS.org has a lot to offer, but I would rather her spend her time learning to enjoy, appreciate and value boy sex and her sexuality. Honestly, I would like to come home and find her pleasuring herself or prepping for it by enjoying erotica or porn--I can't think of anything hotter. It would certainly get me in the mood.
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Re: Porn or Facebook -- Chose Her Own Adventure

Postby Coriander » Sat Nov 14, 2015 3:32 am

Indeed!
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Re: Porn or Facebook -- Chose Her Own Adventure

Postby Lovey » Thu Nov 19, 2015 10:43 pm

Honestly, I would like to come home and find her pleasuring herself or prepping for it by enjoying erotica or porn


I have to question this line of thinking. Erotica & porn may sound inviting but do you really want your women to go to these sites?

Does it meet with our standard of seeking after "virtuous, lovely, and of good report?"

I've read the Outlander series and have really enjoyed Diana Gabaldon's saucy stories. I love the way Jamie & Claire have a long & happy married life that includes plenty of intimacy. I've wondered about reading other erotica but honestly, when I checked out a blog post on suggested books in that genre, they all look pretty slutty.
I'm glad I don't do porn.
I don't need porn to keep my marriage hot.
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Re: Porn or Facebook -- Chose Her Own Adventure

Postby Coriander » Fri Nov 20, 2015 2:16 am

Lovey wrote:
I have to question this line of thinking. Erotica & porn may sound inviting but do you really want your women to go to these sites?

Does it meet with our standard of seeking after "virtuous, lovely, and of good report?"


It all depends. I'd like to know how many people consider the Outlander series "virtuous, lovely, of good report or praiseworthy."

Porn and erotica are such huge territories. There is the stereotype of the stupid stuff that panders to the basest masculine appetites, but there is plenty that is made by and for women too. It's scary to contemplate going out and searching for anything in those territories that would be of use, because we've been taught that it's all deadly poison.

Who was the woman who posted here about getting aroused by pictures of women's breasts? I'm too lazy to look it up. Anyway, it can be surprising what will arouse some people. I mentioned before my wife getting aroused by looking at Wiccan-themed pinboards that weren't even sexual. I'd be in favor of anything she might view, read or hear that would get her in the mood.
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Re: Porn or Facebook -- Chose Her Own Adventure

Postby MrShorty » Fri Nov 20, 2015 6:27 pm

Erotica & porn may sound inviting but do you really want your women to go to these sites?
Curiously, I came across a study that may apply to this question. It was a dissertation performed by Cameron Brown, at BYU of all places (in 2014, in case the link fails and you need something to put in a search engine). He attempted to look at the relationships between porn use and sexual satisfaction. Interestingly, he notes that women's porn use was positively correlated with couple's shared sexual satisfaction. There's a lot more discussed in the paper, but this seemed an interesting result to find. I am not enough of a statistician to understand all of the statistics used, so I cannot really say much more about it.

Do we really want our wives going to these sites? I don't know for sure. The Church has generally been insistent that porn use is all negative with no positives. It sure would be tempting, though, if I thought it would improve things at home.

edit: add link http://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/cgi/view ... ontext=etd
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Re: Porn or Facebook -- Chose Her Own Adventure

Postby Coriander » Sat Nov 21, 2015 12:17 am

Maybe the porn and erotica that is aimed at women is more likely to portray encounters in which the man makes sure he satisfies the woman (clitoral play, more than just jump and hump), more likely to portray "steamily consensual" couplings (to quote kooky Aunt Camille), more likely to include more emotion and exploration of erogenous zones.

Reports I've read about what some porn is like sound like the stupidest thing on earth - fantasies that should by rights only appeal to a 14-year old: see woman, jump on her, start thrusting, she starts crying out in ecstasy - an animated doll, a non-person whose only role is to show up as a body in which to squirt. That really is despicable.

But the world is a complex place. There must be plenty of porn and erotica that, even if it portrays spontaneous and non-committal encounters, still includes much more variety and nuance: agency and personality for the female, who knows? Maybe even mature communication between the partners, maybe even mutual respect.

At the very least, I should think that a scenario of an attractive and powerful man who was also attentive and kind to the woman he seduces would be very, very hot to many women viewers. Well, what about Outlander? Jamie takes Claire impetuously sometimes, but it's also in the way he treats her, talks to her, tells her how much he desires her.
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Re: Porn or Facebook -- Chose Her Own Adventure

Postby be64 » Sat Nov 21, 2015 1:20 am

I assume that much of pornography is merely sex acts performed or described in order to elicit sexual pleasure in the viewer/reader, however what if the porn in question was, as has been noted above, the portrayal of the loving, caring sexual relation of a married couple? Would that change its value as pornography or in other words would that make it beneficial to the viewer/reader in improving his/her own married sexual relationships?

If I view porn, which very rarely happens, and it makes me horny for my wife is that a bad thing?

Clearly if pornography replaces sex in a marriage that is not a good thing, but what if it improves sex in a marriage? If that is possible.

If the object of our existence is to keep our thoughts pure and never think of anything sexual, then I guess viewing/reading anything of a sexual nature would be a distraction from the object of our existence. However is that the object of our existence?

It seems that for some reason a very sexless Christian view came about, and that sex even in marriage is something to be avoided except to conceive children, and even then you shouldn't enjoy it. While much of that thinking has been overturned, there seems to still be a strong anti sex culture among many religions.

It's interesting how much if not most of the strong anti sex views in Christianity had their start in medieval times when truth and light was not on the earth with men such as St Augustine. I think that any doctrine or viewpoint on sex, including masturbation which originated in that time period is esentially from Satan.

It is interesting that the church went from 19th century polygamy where church members were probably the most sexually liberal people of any Christian religion where multiple wives were promoted as a cure for masturbation, and clearly a lot of sex was taking place when men had multiple large families, to a twentieth century culture of being probably one of the most sexually conservative Christian religions.

Being that most men have low testosterone by the time they reach old age, and along with that goes libido and erections, for a large chunk of church leadership sex may be merely a nearly forgotten memory.
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Re: Porn or Facebook -- Chose Her Own Adventure

Postby MrShorty » Sat Nov 21, 2015 10:33 am

Hypothesizing why he obtained these results, Brown noted two things about women's porn use:
Recent literature supports the belief that female pornography use has more of a positive influence on a couple’s sexual relationship because it may represent more of an openness on the part of the wife to try new sexual behaviors and foster an overall more erotic climate in the relationship (Bridges & Morokoff, 2011; Grov et al., 2011). Other studies also illustrate that women that use pornography do so primarily to enhance their sexual relationships rather than to engage in auto-erotic sexual experiences (Cooper et al, 2004; Hald et al., 2014).


The suggestion, and this makes sense to me, is that the positive correlation is related to the motivations behind porn use. Is it because men tend to use porn "auto-erotically" -- for their own pleasure, where women tend to use porn as part of fostering and developing their eroticism within the relationship? I have noted this before that our positive rhetoric around sex has long taught that sex is "allowed and good" within marriage, but have we ever really taught that we should "foster an overall more erotic climate in the [marriage] relationship"?
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