Is this forum dead?

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Is this forum dead?

Total votes : 19

Re: Is this forum dead?

Postby EverBetter » Sat Sep 05, 2015 11:19 pm

This forum was important to me when I was figuring out how to reinvigorate my marriage. After that worked, I tried to stick around and help wherever I could, because I think there is a real need for church members to have a place to ask important questions and get wise answers. However, it seems that many of the topics were intentionally sensational, and thus scared off new people to the site, or there were those who felt like they had the mission to close down honest discussion with quotes from General Authorities of various epochs.

I would like to see more topics that deal with the problems that many LDS couples have. They may not be controversial topics, but they sure are important to those suffering in silence.
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Re: Is this forum dead?

Postby JustGettingBy » Sun Sep 06, 2015 12:11 am

be64 wrote:
JustGettingBy wrote:For me it comes to time and interest. I am spending much of my time working on my faith crisis. I don't have much time after that (and work, callings, and just life). Also I reached a point of not working much on my relationship with my wife and counseling on my stress and depression. So I stop by once a week and I have noticed the # of posts are down. Over the years this has gone up and down over the years.

I hope I am not adding to your faith crisis. I don't want my posts to negatively affect anyone.

No no no. Nothing said here is much of an issue.
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Re: Is this forum dead?

Postby Momgyver » Sun Sep 06, 2015 4:19 am

I came here during a major paradigm shift in my sexual outlook. I was helped tremendously by reading and posting here. I voraciously devoured nearly all of the old threads. I posted a lot because these topics were all so new to me and I was trying to find a way to incorporate my new sexual wants and needs without breaking my marriage and temple covenants. I have found that balance for myself. I would have had a much harder time doing so without this forum.

Now, I am busy living my life, expanding my sexual menu of activities, and having a blast doing it. I post when I have something to contribute, but I often feel like I've already said all I have to say on a particular topic. I check in every day and greatly appreciate all of the points of view, whether I agree or not. You all make me THINK, and that is a good thing.
“Love cannot live where there is no trust.” Edith Hamilton
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Re: Is this forum dead?

Postby JustGettingBy » Sun Sep 06, 2015 9:18 am

I am the same as momg and different. I also feel I have said all I can and this forum helped me get to a place of some (but nowhere near total) peace. Where I differ is that I have tried everything I can and I had to stop working on it and instead turned on working on myself.

Do know that there are a LOT of lurkers on this forum which given the subject matter that tells me lots of people are interested (and I assume a large portion ore problems) some don't feel comfortable with commenting.
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Re: Is this forum dead?

Postby UtahAl » Mon Sep 07, 2015 5:27 pm

I must say that Momgyver hit the nail on the head for me. I came here when I was in need an looking for some guidance and direction--at a time when I was struggling with many of the same issues discussed here. Viewing others ideas, needs and fears helped me to see that I was not alone, that my doubts were common and helped me to find my own way. I haven't agreed with everything written here, and some of it I am STRONGLY against, but it helped me to have perspective. I hope this site stays around for a while.

Looking back over old posts, I see several times where it has kind of died off, then come back a few months later. For me, I would say that it is summer, and I have been very busy. Also, things with the wife have been better and I have not needed the site as much, so I haven't been around as much either.

We do need better participation . . . I think many people come and read, but don't comment or share of themselves. I have a poll up that only has three responses, and I am one of them.
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Re: Is this forum dead?

Postby Jgtrs » Mon Sep 07, 2015 9:32 pm

I've been here several years and have seen the same waxing and waning of interest and activity. I don't think it's dying, but likely lost some steam for a little while.

Similar to many of you, I came here at a time when I really needed some outlet and discussion, but as my marriage turned from sad to great, I stayed to help where I could, as others helped me.

It's true that controversy and conflict spark discussion, but rudeness turns people away, so I don't think the banning of LDM (the only poster banned in the history of this forum, to my recollection) decreased participation. If anything, it helped, which was the point, I think.

So, I don't think the forum is dead, and I hope it doesn't die. I've enjoyed my time here, but like all the rest of you, I have a very busy and vibrant life, so I'm not looking to read every message and respond to every thread. I think we'll see it spark back up on occasion, as new people come with new questions (or old questions from new people).
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Re: Is this forum dead?

Postby greywolfe13 » Wed Sep 09, 2015 6:30 am

I just got some good responses to a question I have, that I didn't even take time to look to see if it has been asked since I don't recall it in my time here. Some information is timeless but being said in another form will help others understand that didn't the first time. That is part of the beauty of many answers from many people. Some information will change, this is not the same computer I started posting from, and I don't replace mine nearly as often as some people do. Just as technology changes, some attitudes change and a new point of view helps deal with those changes.

I hope people keep dropping by from time to time and answering questions that come up. Questions that have been answered before can be answered by giving the advice to read a certain thread if the information is timely and another way of saying it cannot be found. Maybe the anonymous nature helps people be a little more open, but I have gotten far better advice here than I recall in any face to face contact, which has helped me ask more difficult questions. At least more difficult for me to ask.

To the lurkers, I would say, if you are here with a question go ahead and ask. The worst that could happen is a moderator may remove the post, I haven't seen that very often, and the best is you could get a good answer. My experience has been more often a good answer or ideas on resources to get good answers. The forum is needed and useful, so hopefully it will be here for a long time to come.
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Re: Is this forum dead?

Postby whmxn » Thu Sep 10, 2015 2:04 pm

I'm pretty new here and haven't posted a ton but I have found the information on many of the older threads very helpful. It has certainly helped my relationship with my wife and given us many ideas going forward. Like others, I don't necessarily agree with everyone on everything here but that's perfectly fine by me. Reading someone else's perspective often helps me solidify my opinions and I think the dialogue is helpful to many even if they don't all post responses. The topics discussed here can be difficult for some to discuss, even anonymously. I hope it does pick back up in the future as it has helped me and I hope to have the opportunity to help others in the same way in the future.
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Re: Is this forum dead?

Postby be64 » Thu Sep 10, 2015 7:19 pm

Even among the moderators one hasn't been here for about three months, one about two months and one in about a week. It looks like essentially this forum is no longer moderated.
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Re: Is this forum dead?

Postby Lovey » Fri Sep 11, 2015 3:57 pm

I've been here several years and have seen the same waxing and waning of interest and activity.
I agree. Much like our sexual lives, there are times when it takes a slump and other times, you are both going gang busters with no end in sight.

Asking if the forum is dead is sort of like when you gather for a meeting and the one conducting comments on how few people are in attendance. Pointing out who are absent rather than focusing on those present. If you pay attention to how many views are in any given topic, you will see that many come here who are happy to read but are not commenting.
I would say the forum is still being very actively read. I'm quite surprised that now that we've entered our empty nesting years, I'm busier than ever. Not only kids but in laws, outlaws and their kids too are dropping by. Taking time to comment is something I like to do when I have my own free time. I'm still as fascinated as ever about this topic and have lots to contribute here. I'll try to do better and invite all you lurkers to do the same...
meanwhile I need to go prepare for my in- laws 50th wedding anniversary party, watch a grandchild in a cross country meet and plan a date for tonight with my hot hon!
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