What do we need to do to fix this forum

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What do we need to do to fix this forum

Postby Don » Tue Dec 04, 2018 12:48 pm

Hi,

My name is Don and I started this forum in 2007 and I host it on my server.

Due to various issues, I have had almost no involvement with this forum in the past several years and haven't even logged onto it in quite a while.

I received a message from a desperate moderator regarding problems on the forum. These include spam, inappropriate posts, etc. The nature of the forum has become inappropriate according to many.

I am opening this topic and soliciting opinions. Please respond to this topic with your comments. If you are uncomfortable with doing that, you can send me a PM.

If anyone is interesting in moderating, please let me know that also.

Thanks,

Don
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Re: What do we need to do to fix this forum

Postby Deusdictum » Tue Dec 04, 2018 1:19 pm

Don wrote:Hi,

My name is Don and I started this forum in 2007 and I host it on my server.

Due to various issues, I have had almost no involvement with this forum in the past several years and haven't even logged onto it in quite a while.

I received a message from a desperate moderator regarding problems on the forum. These include spam, inappropriate posts, etc. The nature of the forum has become inappropriate according to many.

I am opening this topic and soliciting opinions. Please respond to this topic with your comments. If you are uncomfortable with doing that, you can send me a PM.

If anyone is interesting in moderating, please let me know that also.

Thanks,

Don


Hi Don! Thanks for hosting the forum!

Yes, spam is a problem, but as far as I can tell it is a sporadic one, not a constant one. But then, I’m not a moderator, so maybe I don’t see everything.

I think that if there is going to be erotica, then it needs to have its own space. If it comes from another site, then you should link to the site, maybe provide a short description / a few topical tags, but not copy/paste the entire thing. This is just plain etiquette so that creators get the credit they deserve instead of stories they mention in one place being spread all over the internet where they didn’t intend, or people here not knowing where something came from.

Similarly, it should be understood that discussions and shared experiences here should also not be copy/pasted elsewhere, except by the author. If you want to share something from LDS Sexuality, share a link to this site.

Some of the problematic posts come from a person or persons who are grossly unsympathetic and insulting. It’s not that bad for the most part, but there are a couple of bad apples.

I do think that the forum needs active moderators, people who check in at least weekly. Preferably, they would be believing members of the Church. If someone is inactive, but still believes, even with some reservations or doubts, that is fine. But once someone crosses into “I’m not Mormon anymore” or “I don’t believe the church is true anymore”, I think they need to hand the reigns over to someone else. If no one can be found to moderate the forum, then it may be time to put the forum into a read-only state, until such a time as someone willing and qualified to be the moderator is willing to step up.

Images should be disallowed, including avatars. There have been a few instances of inappropriate pictures. For some reason, one of these only showed up In Tapatalk, but there was no way to get rid of it and whenever someone posted in the thread, Tapatalk users would see the image of a man’s naked crotch in their “unread posts” feed.


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Re: What do we need to do to fix this forum

Postby KSSunflower » Tue Dec 04, 2018 5:05 pm

Good to have you back, Don.

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"It is not sex that gives the pleasure, but the lover." ― Marge Piercy, “Sensuality is not a sexual invitation, it’s a depth invitation.” ― Lebo Grand http://mormonsexualdialogue.boards.net/, http://www.chatzy.com/24691190515294
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Re: What do we need to do to fix this forum

Postby Mateopourtoi » Tue Dec 04, 2018 5:06 pm

In my opinion, just more active users. I've found this about a year ago and come here often. I enjoy most posts and try to respond accordingly. I'd be happy to be a moderator if needs be. I come here often enough.

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Re: What do we need to do to fix this forum

Postby be64 » Wed Dec 05, 2018 12:15 am

Besides the above comments I would add that a few years ago it was a pretty good forum. However it seems that several of the active posters went wild so to speak and left the church and either stopped posting or posted their justifications for their sinful behavior (swinging for example) and practically boasted of their sexual exploits.

At any rate many of the more “decent” posters, including myself, were turned off by the conduct of forum posters and simple stopped coming by.

At the same time all of the moderators left, therefore reporting inappropriate posts became impossible and the forum has run amuck. I feel sorry for new posters here who are trying to get meaningful advice but there are few left here to help out.
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Re: What do we need to do to fix this forum

Postby FlutterGuy » Wed Dec 05, 2018 5:43 pm

I hope I'm not contributing to the problem. I think when I first joined, my posts were perhaps more explicit than necessary. I try to be more concious about it now.
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Re: What do we need to do to fix this forum

Postby be64 » Wed Dec 05, 2018 8:02 pm

FlutterGuy wrote:I hope I'm not contributing to the problem. I think when I first joined, my posts were perhaps more explicit than necessary. I try to be more concious about it now.
Years ago I realized that some of my posts were too explicit so I work to avoid that now. It’s hard for me to discuss a sexual topic without being too discriptive. However back then the moderators were active on the forum but nothing I posted was ever edited.
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Re: What do we need to do to fix this forum

Postby Twue_Wuv » Wed Dec 05, 2018 11:21 pm

Banning Scsurfer would go a long way to making this forum better.

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Re: What do we need to do to fix this forum

Postby testy68 » Thu Dec 06, 2018 12:57 pm

First off, a little background about myself I consider myself to be a fairly active LDS person who is fairly open-minded what things that occur in bedroom between husband and wife. Where I get a little turned off is when there are threads or discussions that are definitely outside the bounds of our professed religious beliefs. Discussions about open flirting with others outside of our marriage, and openly participating in those activities would be a turn-off to the vast majority of active LDS people, and failure to manage those elements will keep that group from participating in these boards. It is kept my wife away I know a few others that quit participating because of that. Role-plays and fantasies are a little different. Those could be considered Fringe but in my mind oh, it is the actively taking of action that crosses the line for the majority of people.

I am also a huge advocate of agency and believe people have a right to participate in those activities. However, there are different forms for them to have those discussions I'm probably do not belong on an LDS sexuality forum.

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Re: What do we need to do to fix this forum

Postby zookie » Thu Dec 06, 2018 7:02 pm

Twue_Wuv wrote:Banning Scsurfer would go a long way to making this forum better.

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I do not disagree. Has he been posting lately? I messaged him once and asked him what his deal was. I told him he sounded more like Penthouse Forum than anything else and I personally believe he made up everything that he posts. Since I'm only nominally moderating here anymore, I don't feel I have as much say as others here. But--I only got one request to ban him in all the time he was posting.

What happened was people just stopped coming here because it wasn't a safe space for members your church. I feel bad about that.

If enough people requested it, I'm sure it would happen, just like before with another questionable poster.

EDIT: I just saw a very long "story" he posted last month. It included a picture of two sister missionaries. That is NOT okay and I deleted it. If I see any posts that post pictures of real people that did not give their consent I will delete them. This is called doxing and is totally not acceptable. Ever. I didn't bother reading his nonsense and didn't feel I needed to. However, even without the picture, I think this is just too much. If I see s**t like that again, I will delete it and I will ban him. Even without anyone else's request.
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