SAHM's prostitutes?

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Do you feel there is validity to the argument that SAHM's are like prostitutes?

Yes, explain
2
6%
No, explain
30
94%
 
Total votes : 32

SAHM's prostitutes?

Postby KSSunflower » Wed Apr 17, 2013 11:54 pm

I was reading on another site for moms the other day and I came across a post where somebody made the comment that stay at home mom's are basically prostitutes because they are being supported by their husbands in exchange for sex. I guess I could see how they could come to that conclusion if that was the only thing taken into consideration but when you also consider that a SAHM contributes way more than sex and that the husband isn't paying for sex but to support his family, well it is kind of offensive that people would associate SAHM's to prostitutes. How do you feel about this? Do the men here have an expectation for sex because you provide financially?
"It is not sex that gives the pleasure, but the lover." ― Marge Piercy, “Sensuality is not a sexual invitation, it’s a depth invitation.” ― Lebo Grand http://mormonsexualdialogue.boards.net/, http://www.chatzy.com/24691190515294
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Re: SAHM's prostitutes?

Postby cmfray » Thu Apr 18, 2013 12:34 am

I was a SAHM for most of my marriage - and if I was being paid for sex - my husband sure did not get his money's worth!!! :twisted:

If I was getting paid for all the other stuff I contributed - I was severely underpaid!!!! :shock:
Last edited by cmfray on Thu Apr 18, 2013 12:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: SAHM's prostitutes?

Postby cmfray » Thu Apr 18, 2013 12:34 am

Double post - please ignore!!!!
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Re: SAHM's prostitutes?

Postby Jgtrs » Thu Apr 18, 2013 4:56 am

I agree that's a ridiculous connection, KSS. I don't feel that way at all, and my wife is mostly a SAHM.
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Re: SAHM's prostitutes?

Postby JustGettingBy » Thu Apr 18, 2013 8:40 am

Not at all! I think it is a misunderstanding to think that.

There is a great couple in my ward where the wife is very successful in her work. The husband has tried to get as much education as he can, but the wife makes so much he is a.stay at home dad - and quite a good dad and very active in his kids lives. So is he a prostitute - or to be even more crazy - is he a pump?

In my case my wife was a professional with advanced certifications doing quite well before we married. She decided to stay home with no pressure from me.

If there is a loving relationship then the sex isn't given in exchange for the $.
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Re: SAHM's prostitutes?

Postby blahblahblah » Thu Apr 18, 2013 10:59 am

Nothing in life is free. Nothing in a relationship is free. Both individuals in a relationship give something to get something. If we didn't receive anything for what we put into it, then the relationship would be dead. Just because men typically desire the sexual component of marriage, while providing the financial support does not, of course, make it prostitution. But some women (who may feel sex is unnecessary in a marital relationship) bristle at the thought of sexual intimacy being on the same level of importance in marriage as affection, communication, trust, being a good parent, etc. and are therefore critical of the perceived trade of sex for money (or anything for that matter). You could make the same misguided argument that a wife is just a live-in cook, maid, etc.

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Re: SAHM's prostitutes?

Postby RockyMtn » Thu Apr 18, 2013 2:59 pm

I don't know who that poster was, or whatr site this discussion started in, but I'd say a person who even suggests something like this needs to be smacked upside the head with a clue-by-four. It's actually insulting to wives, mothers, husbands, and children.
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Re: SAHM's prostitutes?

Postby darkmom76 » Thu Apr 18, 2013 3:18 pm

Absolutely ridiculous! I saw a breakdown of how much it would cost to pay someone to do everything a mother does. :shock: (stay at home or working or whatever) and most men can't afford it!
I mostly stay with the kids, not that we are home that much :roll: and I do not consider myself a prostitute in any way.

cmfray said "I was a SAHM for most of my marriage - and if I was being paid for sex - my husband sure did not get his money's worth!!! :twisted:

If I was getting paid for all the other stuff I contributed - I was severely underpaid!!!! :shock:"

I totally agree! Marriage not about getting paid for anything. It is a give and take, or maybe and give and give. I heard once that marriage is not a 50/50 partnership but a 100/100 partnership.

I don't see Dh as just a paycheck anymore than he sees me as a prostitute. Besides, he doesn't make that much ;) he couldn't afford me if he had to pay for sex!
Beauty is reality seen through the eyes of love.
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Re: SAHM's prostitutes?

Postby DiscoveringUs » Wed Jun 18, 2014 1:54 am

I say No

But I have bartered with sex before.. Even a few times for extra spending money.. I like doing it :)
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Re: SAHM's prostitutes?

Postby LatterDay Marriage » Wed Jun 18, 2014 9:12 am

That kind of thinking is pretty common in the hard core feminist circles. I think they are just trying to convince themselves that they are better than SAHMs while secretly they are jealous of them.

There have been times I was unemployed and she was not and it didn't end our sex life. There were times I was earning a fair bit and she was not so willing to be intimate. Really though the difference comes down to motive. I'm providing for her, but not as a financial deal to get sex, and she is giving her self to me, but not as a deal to be provided for, and both of us do a lot more for each other than have sex. Do hookers cook meals, do housework, bear children and raise them, care for a sick person, do the shopping and laundry, open up their heart to their partner etc. etc. We do those things because we love each other and committed our lives to meeting each other's needs and our raising a family.
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