Which would you pick and why?

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Re: Which would you pick and why?

Postby greywolfe13 » Sun Nov 01, 2015 11:58 am

I think Love is the most important. We are commanded to love one another. The love in a marriage is a very special love. The one we choose to spend our life with needs to be based on love of some kind. Through the years it changes in type. For me it started as a romantic type love spurred on by the hormonal desires for sex with her to express that love. Through the years it has changed though I still want to express that love through sex there are other things I desire for her as well. During the past week she has been having mood swings that make going through menopause look like a wonderful stroll together. My trust that she is responding to emotions that are not coming from her heart has made it so we are getting through them. That trust grows from my love. When we thought the health issues may be symptoms of cancer, the thoughts of loosing her even though sex has not been working well have thrown me into a depression. The lack of sex could be dealt with but not the loss of the chance to show her my love. Trust is necessary to understand how to show that love and to communicate about the relationship, it is the most important tool in showing the love to make a relationship work. Without the trust to communicate well, the expressions of love are not understood and so are not felt correctly. My love tells me to trust her emotions will settle down, and they do. Sometimes it takes until the next day, sometimes just a few minutes, but the woman I know comes out again.

I'm not sure the Beatles had it right with the statement "all you need is love" but it is definitely the beginning to make everything else work. Just feeling that emotion isn't enough, it has to be expressed so though it doesn't work in the song for me the line would be "all you need is to express your love."
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Re: Which would you pick and why?

Postby Jgtrs » Tue Nov 03, 2015 4:11 am

I suppose "love" is an amalgam of all of the above. Which, however, will best guarantee the proliferation of all the others, if you can only start with one? Maybe it's love... maybe.

And KSS, the other options I suggested are arguably the universal "love languages" and we all have a primary. Knowing what that is for us and what fills the emotional buckets of our spouse then helps us better understand ourselves and our relationships with others, particularly our spouse. .. At least according to Gary Chapman.

Back to the original four, though, chemistry might suggest that sex is more important for the woman because sexual intimacy leads to the chemistry of love in their brains. For men, sex leads to the chemistry of commitment, right? Long commitment leads men to the chemistry if love. Ergo, maybe sex, for the combined sexes, is truly the most critical feature as it becomes the catalyst bringing couples to love, and then keeping them there. Without those other things in place, live will not abide.
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Re: Which would you pick and why?

Postby frogza » Tue Nov 03, 2015 4:18 pm

I'd go with Time, without time the rest are useless.
Love without time to show it and feel it, sounds like loneliness and heartache
Sex without time to do it means it doesn't happen
Trust takes time to build and grow
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Re: Which would you pick and why?

Postby Allison » Wed Nov 04, 2015 2:02 am

Sex. Sex is an expression of the other 3. The rest, without sex, will not be as strong either.
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Re: Which would you pick and why?

Postby monkey55 » Wed Dec 30, 2015 8:55 pm

I say sex because it is the only one that lets me forget about everything else while we are in the zone. ..great break from reality and a ton of fun!
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Re: Which would you pick and why?

Postby Bryan_LDS_husband » Mon Apr 11, 2016 11:17 am

I am not sure Love and Trust can be separated. I've seen couples lose trust in each other, and the love always vanishes shortly after. So if I had to pick only one, I would say Trust, because without it, nothing else will really work anyway.
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