Thoughts on General Conference

A place to post Polls

Moderators: zookie, Mrs J, mariabronn

Re: Thoughts on General Conference

Postby KSSunflower » Mon Oct 06, 2014 2:30 am

I believe it. If you remember who the speaker was I'd like to know. Thanks.

Mr.Shorty, dh had some issues with that talk as well. Moreso the part about delaying family. It can be so difficult to get married, and before you've completed your education or begun a career, start having children. It can be very stressful and overwhelming. I understand why hearing that bothered him. I will say, though, knowing that's his attitude about it bothers me. I don't feel like it has to be a negative thing.
"It is not sex that gives the pleasure, but the lover." ― Marge Piercy, “Sensuality is not a sexual invitation, it’s a depth invitation.” ― Lebo Grand http://mormonsexualdialogue.boards.net/, http://www.chatzy.com/24691190515294
User avatar
KSSunflower
 
Posts: 2841
Joined: Mon May 11, 2009 1:24 am

Re: Thoughts on General Conference

Postby Jgtrs » Mon Oct 06, 2014 4:47 am

Several good talks. Some not so good, but that's normal (for me).

I didn't hear anything on marriage specifically, but I missed Saturdays session and haven't caught up yet.

Regarding marriage age: Research indicates that age is a correlative factor in divorce. People who marry younger are more likely to divorce (though there are obviously many other factors as well). Also, age is disproportionate between genders as men usually marry a woman who is younger. Culturally, women are expected to date older or same age but not younger, so their marriage pool shrinks as they get older, which is not really the case with men.

Based on what I remember, these are factors correlating with longer marriages:
Marrying after 25, college degree, long courtship, family history of long marriages.
Jgtrs
 
Posts: 1790
Joined: Tue Jun 03, 2008 6:12 pm

Re: Thoughts on General Conference

Postby LatterDay Marriage » Mon Oct 06, 2014 9:14 am

More likely a matter of maturity rather than age I would think. It would be interesting to see an LDS specific study in this area, and look at serving a mission as a factor too. I know a number of couples who married young by the world's standard soon after the guy got back from his mission like DW and I did and every one of us is still together. Many of them are our peers who we grew up with, and a growing number of them are kids we watched grow up here in our ward where we've lived for 20 years. The divorces I've seen have been couples where they married later, usually converts where neither one served a mission. There is one couple here where I know he served a mission but I'm not sure how long it was after that he got married so they may be an exception. There are two guys who served in my mission that I know married and divorced, but I don't know how soon after they got back they married. Both of them were kind of jerks in the mission field so not a huge surprise to me there really.
User avatar
LatterDay Marriage
 
Posts: 2005
Joined: Sat Aug 03, 2013 1:26 pm
Location: Canada

Re: Thoughts on General Conference

Postby LatterDay Marriage » Mon Oct 06, 2014 9:25 am

KSSunflower wrote:I believe it. If you remember who the speaker was I'd like to know. Thanks.

Mr.Shorty, dh had some issues with that talk as well. Moreso the part about delaying family. It can be so difficult to get married, and before you've completed your education or begun a career, start having children. It can be very stressful and overwhelming. I understand why hearing that bothered him. I will say, though, knowing that's his attitude about it bothers me. I don't feel like it has to be a negative thing.


If I had a do-over, I'd wait to have kids until a year after the wedding. Give us time to adjust to marriage before adding in adjusting to being parents too. I'd also say if a short delay in starting the family can make a difference between them having a stay at home parent and going to day care, delay and let them have a stay at home parent take care of them. We had 2 kids and a third on the way before I graduated. She was pregnant a month after our wedding and that pregnancy really messed with her hormones which was a trial. Other than that I wouldn't say it was stressful or overwhelming for us but DW needed to work while I was in school so we had to have a friend in the ward care for them and we didn't like having to do that.

One of the big advantages to having kids young is you have a lot more energy to keep up with them, then when you hit your 40s they start leaving the nest.
User avatar
LatterDay Marriage
 
Posts: 2005
Joined: Sat Aug 03, 2013 1:26 pm
Location: Canada

Re: Thoughts on General Conference

Postby Momgyver » Mon Oct 06, 2014 11:26 pm

LatterDay Marriage wrote:
KSSunflower wrote:I believe it. If you remember who the speaker was I'd like to know. Thanks.

Mr.Shorty, dh had some issues with that talk as well. Moreso the part about delaying family. It can be so difficult to get married, and before you've completed your education or begun a career, start having children. It can be very stressful and overwhelming. I understand why hearing that bothered him. I will say, though, knowing that's his attitude about it bothers me. I don't feel like it has to be a negative thing.


If I had a do-over, I'd wait to have kids until a year after the wedding. Give us time to adjust to marriage before adding in adjusting to being parents too. I'd also say if a short delay in starting the family can make a difference between them having a stay at home parent and going to day care, delay and let them have a stay at home parent take care of them. We had 2 kids and a third on the way before I graduated. She was pregnant a month after our wedding and that pregnancy really messed with her hormones which was a trial. Other than that I wouldn't say it was stressful or overwhelming for us but DW needed to work while I was in school so we had to have a friend in the ward care for them and we didn't like having to do that.

One of the big advantages to having kids young is you have a lot more energy to keep up with them, then when you hit your 40s they start leaving the nest.
i wouldn't change anything. We got married very young, waited five years before having our first child, and had our last child when I was only thirty. Perfect timing in my book.
“Love cannot live where there is no trust.” Edith Hamilton
User avatar
Momgyver
 
Posts: 760
Joined: Tue Sep 24, 2013 3:51 pm
Location: California

Re: Thoughts on General Conference

Postby cmfray » Tue Oct 07, 2014 8:21 am

One of the big advantages to having kids young is you have a lot more energy to keep up with them, then when you hit your 40s they start leaving the nest.


And when you really start to enjoy the empty nest - they come back... with their little ones in tow! :twisted:
cmfray
 
Posts: 1880
Joined: Fri Jul 08, 2011 7:23 pm

Re: Thoughts on General Conference

Postby 5izen0ugh » Tue Oct 07, 2014 2:55 pm

It's never truly an empty nest until all of their stuff is out of the basement.
5izen0ugh
 
Posts: 36
Joined: Sat Dec 26, 2009 1:24 am
Location: Utah

Previous

Return to Polls

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests