Would you do you?

A place to post Polls.

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Would you do you?

I am fit and attractive and have a healthy body.
25
11%
I always smell good and have good hygiene.
32
14%
I am a good lover, capable of deep intimacy as well as raw sexuality.
34
15%
I have an overall nice appearance and style.
31
14%
I have a very sexual mind.
39
18%
I know how to relax into the pleasure of sex and really enjoy it.
32
14%
I've got skills.
29
13%
 
Total votes : 222

Would you do you?

Postby Lovey » Mon Jul 08, 2013 11:45 am

So let’s say you are not you. Instead let's pretend you are someone else of the opposite sex. So now let's say that pretend you sees the real you standing in a shop. How do you think the real you would measure up to pretend you, if you were out there in the Sexual Jungle?

Would You Do You?

If you can’t say “yeah, I’d do me,” then why would you expect a partner to want to do you? What are you bringing to the table exactly, if you wouldn’t eat it yourself?

Some people might do this exercise and suddenly feel conceited if they actually said “yes” to the question, and that might mess their heads up and make them want to say “no”, like modesty would be preferable to arrogance or something.

So if you tried to answer yes, then changed your mind so you wouldn’t feel like an arrogant jack ass, then do the exercise again and forget the arrogance part completely. There is no such thing as arrogance in this exercise, ok? This is about something way beyond arrogance. We’re at narcissistic levels right now. Just let it go, no one is watching your mind right now. It’s just you and you. You can do it, look at yourself for real…aren’t you beautiful!?! Answer again this time, Would You Do You?

If you do the exercise and your honest answer would be “yes”...**BUT**...you have massive insecurities which prevent you from evaluating yourself honestly, so you see yourself as “gross” and “don’t want none o’ dat”….well…that is a whole other issue. One that you probably should work on if you want to have great sex.

How is your partner supposed to enjoy making love to you if you are so insecure that you hold up a false image of yourself at every moment? It takes so much effort to hide behind insecurities. Much easier to let all that go and give yourself freely to your partner AND to yourself.

And then there is the false yes. Consider Fat Guy from Austin Powers. “I’m sexy as hell”. (shudder) If this is you and you honestly can’t see yourself as you really are, then that’s cool that you can still be so sexually secure (more like, hyper-secure)…but even if YOU would do you, there’s no guarantee your lover would.

Check out this funny picture of a man and a woman and how they see themselves.

Both of these people are messing up their sexual honesty by not seeing themselves accurately. This cartoon depicts body image issues clearly, but it also showcases the two points I made above about insecurity, and hyper-security. These two people do not see the truth in the mirror, by their own effort of self-deception. The problem with this is that if you cannot be sexually honest with yourself, you will not be sexually honest with a partner.

Both the man and the woman above are expending a lot of mental energy to view themselves as differently than they really are. They must create a mental structure, that’s the false image in the mirror. This structure requires constant effort to maintain. If you are like the man or woman above, you may not be aware of how hard you have to work to maintain that mental structure, because it is a pretty solid habit by now. Yet making a false self requires your constant energy. You’re just used to expending that energy, so you don’t notice it.

What if instead you focused your energy toward seeing yourself as you really are? It takes so much less energy AND it is sexually honest.
(From Wifey- a blog I follow that promotes Hardcore Monogamy- PM me if you would like to check out her blog)
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Re: Would you do you?

Postby OkieDokie » Mon Jul 08, 2013 3:07 pm

Well I have told by many that I am reasonably good looking but I see myself as nothing special. I always wanted to look like Clint Walker in his prime. I have been told by many that I am a good kisser, but I have never kissed myself so do not know.
I have only been proposed to once but never really engaged. Probably less than a dozen women have flirted with me. I have had only 5 or 6 married women knock on my door (or invite me over) asking to come in and "visit".

Two women here on this site know what I look like by photo but neither of them know me.

I think if I were a woman I would pass me up because I come across at first impression as being a bit intimidating. If I were a woman I believe I would say... I do not believe I measure up to his standards ...not even going to try. There are easier fish in the sea to catch. Besides he is a bit over weight.

However, I did have a woman in the YMCA try to pick me up last year, turns out after a couple weeks of chatting at Y and her being more than suggestive,( I think she said one thing like ..let's go to your nudist resort and share a sleeping bag) she finally said was married. Hmmmmmm... seems married women find me more attractive than single women. (Must be my new septic tank or something) I have had several women (some single some married) at nudist resorts become friendly. Some of their husbands had grins on their faces at the time. Not sure what they were smiling about. Perhaps they were smiling at what I had not to offer.

I did meet one very attractive married women (there without husband knowing) at a resort, she said I was the first man she met that could talk about something besides NASCAR and football. We floated on our air mattresses in the pool talking all afternoon then went for a nude walk in the woods in the evening. That was the weekend before I went to Ecuador for a month to study Spanish. Or was it Mexico? ..oh well.. one of my Spanish study trips.

Normally takes 2 to 3 years for a single stranger to know me. By that time, they married someone else.
Last edited by OkieDokie on Mon Jul 08, 2013 6:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Would you do you?

Postby lovebunny » Mon Jul 08, 2013 3:44 pm

[quote="Lovey"]

Would You Do You?

If you can’t say “yeah, I’d do me,” then why would you expect a partner to want to do you? What are you bringing to the table exactly, if you wouldn’t eat it yourself

So if you tried to answer yes, then changed your mind so you wouldn’t feel like an arrogant jack ass, then do the exercise again and forget the arrogance part completely. There is no such thing as arrogance in this exercise, ok? This is about something way beyond arrogance. We’re at narcissistic levels right now. Just let it go, no one is watching your mind right now. It’s just you and you. You can do it, look at yourself for real…aren’t you beautiful!?! Answer again this time, Would You Do You?

Lovey there are so many Anglo Saxon expletives I want to use to express my response to your dumb post.

If we made our partner choice based on your comments most of us wouldn't be married, let alone having hot sex.

Last night my lovely wife entered the living room dressed only in a basque, thong and stockings and she looked gorgeous. However we are both overweight, middle aged, therefore have various wrinkles, stretch marks, operation scars, celulite etc. Did we find each other atractive,desirable, sexy even? Did we want each other? Did we have a great night of passion? OH YES ;)

Do I look in the mirror and say 'I'd do you'? nope! Does my wife look in the mirror when dressed in a basque, thong and stockings and say 'I look so hot'? I doubt it. But she does know what it does for me and I melted, I was so turned on and excited. She did it purely for me, I couldn't keep my hands, lips, tounge off her and I think our evening showed my gratitude for her thoughtfulness. She could have winked at me and I'd have happily done the same, but the lingerie was a thrilling bonus.

Beauty and sexyness is in the eye and imagination of the beholder, not the mirror.

As I have aged, I have found that I can see the attractivness of women of middle age and I have also found that as I get to know a person, the more attractive they become. That could be said of both men a women, because they can become friends and we see through the faults and sometimes the lack of physical beauty to the attractive person thet really are.

Attraction is very subjective and not easily compartmentalised. Media has told us what is beautiful and sexy, yet we still choose to fall for each other and few of us fit the medias ideas. After 28 years of marriage I still find my wife the most beautiful, sexy woman on earth and she just has to look into my eyes in the loving way she can and I am a dribbling soppy fool and putty in her hands. She is not a vamp and if she tried to play the vamp she would probably collapse in fits of laughter, and most men I expect wouldn't give her a second glance. She is my hot totty and a great lover. We are not without issues, but I wouldn't exchange her for any 'Stepford Wife'.
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Would you do you?

Postby mashman108 » Mon Jul 08, 2013 5:55 pm

Thanks for your post lovebunny
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Re: Would you do you?

Postby OkieDokie » Mon Jul 08, 2013 6:09 pm

Wow!
As a Single, I saw nothing in Lovey's post that would generate such hostility. Does the view of a single differ that much from a married? When one marries does one's perspective change that much? Does one's love for their chosen partner blind one from reality? Might for some, but if true for all, then why is divorce rate approaching 50 %?

I think Lovey was asking ..Are you doing your best to be attractive to your spouse? Or are you?... on the couch drinking beer and eating chips watching a ball game, farting, while scratching your privates ...while your spouse is exercising their body at the gym and mind at the library to make themselves more attractive.
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Re: Would you do you?

Postby cmfray » Mon Jul 08, 2013 11:22 pm

We have already had the weight discussion elsewhere, so lets not go down that road again. The big question this poll is addressing is - how do we feel about ourselves? If we don't feel good about ourselves then it shows in how we act with our spouse and others.

It has taken me over (cough cough) years to get to the point where I am comfortable with myself, with my personality, and with my body, naked or clothed. Although my weight has fluctuated some up and down over the years, it was not how I really looked that was an issue for me - but how I felt about myself that caused many negative issues for me. My self esteem has changed immensely for the better the past 10 years and I have learned to accept myself with all my good points and all my faults.

The other night, my husband and I went dancing again and had a fabulous time. He asked me why I would never dance with him before. I had to admit that I always felt too self conscious on the dance floor. I felt like I was a bad dancer, that I looked funny, was too fat, or was not as attractive as the other woman. Now none of that bothers me anymore - and I don't worry about those things. Nothing has changed about me, except my attitude about myself. I am out there to have fun with my husband and that's what we do - have fun together.

I am finally at a point in my life where I can honestly say, with humility even - yes I would do me, and even more important I would love to be done by me! ;) My husband is a lucky guy and he admits it. I am a lucky woman and I admit it! And we both enjoy doing and be done by each other! :D
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Would you do you?

Postby ChristyBA75 » Tue Jul 09, 2013 12:05 am

I DO DO me. ;)
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Re: Would you do you?

Postby OkieDokie » Tue Jul 09, 2013 1:06 am

Cmfray, I stand corrected, yes that is what Lovey was about in this post now that you point it out. I self esteemed myself back to my body and not my doom and gloom woe is me and the world personality.
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Re: Would you do you?

Postby OkieDokie » Tue Jul 09, 2013 1:08 am

ChristyBA75 wrote:I DO DO me. ;)


How doest thou doeth thy self?
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Re: Would you do you?

Postby Jgtrs » Tue Jul 09, 2013 3:53 am

I wouldn't do me because I like women.

I'm not sexually attracted to myself. I'm happy with who I am, but if I saw myself standing in a shop, I would not be sexually attracted. I think this is a strange question, but I understand the point you're trying to make. I think.
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