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Poll question for women: Lingerie

PostPosted: Fri May 23, 2008 11:01 pm
by rm1971
A week or so before I got married, I remember going to the mall with my brother to buy some silky boxers for our honeymoon. Since then, wearing lingerie has been something that I've done off and on. I find that it helps us to get in the mood and it sends the message to my wife that I am in the mood for intimacy. My wife also used to wear lingerie more often, but she hasn't worn it very much lately. I know men are more "visual" when it comes to being sexually aroused. So, I thought I would make a Poll Question to see how lingerie is used among the members in this forum.

It would also be interesting to know how wearing lingerie is viewed by this LDS forum?

Does one spouse wear it more than another?

Does one spouse have to ask the other to wear lingerie? or is it done voluntarily?

Any recommendations of good websites or places to buy lingerie? that is tasteful and doesn't have pornography on the website?

Any brands of lingerie that you can recommend?

Is lingerie worn only on special occasions in your marriage (i.e. anniversary, Valentine's day, etc)?

What's your favorite lingerie?

Other ideas, thoughts, comments on lingerie?

Re: Poll question for women: Lingerie

PostPosted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 7:50 pm
by old.geezer
rm1971 wrote:
It would also be interesting to know how wearing lingerie is viewed by this LDS forum?

Does one spouse wear it more than another?

Does one spouse have to ask the other to wear lingerie? or is it done voluntarily?

Other ideas, thoughts, comments on lingerie?


The wife doesn't think its proper for either of us to take off our garments to put on something sexy. I've pointed out to her that she takes off her garments and puts on a swimsuit to go swimming, but she says that's totally different. Oh well.

Re: Poll question for women: Lingerie

PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 9:13 am
by Xenon
We have had the opposite experience as slwkf1.
In the last year or so as we have been working on increasing intimacy, my wife said one reason she didn't like lingerie is that she felt embarrassed going to "that section of the store" and buying it. I asked if she would mind if I did, and she said no she didn't mind.

So I went and picked out something that I liked that I thought she would like, got a nice gift box for it, wrapped it up all nice and pretty, and gave it to her "as a gift". Yeah, it's not really a gift for her at all, it is a gift for me. Anyway, I think that helped a lot. Since then, I have bought her a few other pieces of lingerie (one set she didn't like, but the others have been good).

I have no problem going shopping for lingerie. It has been kind of funny. One time a older saleswoman came over as asked if she could help. I told her something like "my birthday is coming up soon and my wife said I could pick out my own present", and she kind of smiled and left me alone while I wandered the aisles. One other time I was in line and the lady in front of me (a pretty middle aged woman) said something like "those are nice - I wish my husband would do something like that". The check out ladies have all be nice and offer up gift boxes and tissue wraps and stuff like that.

It has made a difference in our marriage because I am visual, and this way I get what I like, and she is not put in what is a uncomfortable situation for her.

Re: Poll question for women: Lingerie

PostPosted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 10:06 am
by sunshine
Kind OT- I've seen others say that the lingerie isn't a gift for her but for him- I disagree with that statement somewhat. I feel like anything that is brought into the relationship that adds to it is a gift to both. I hope that makes sense.

Re: Poll question for women: Lingerie

PostPosted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 7:23 pm
by pastafarian
old.geezer wrote:
rm1971 wrote:
It would also be interesting to know how wearing lingerie is viewed by this LDS forum?

Does one spouse wear it more than another?

Does one spouse have to ask the other to wear lingerie? or is it done voluntarily?

Other ideas, thoughts, comments on lingerie?


The wife doesn't think its proper for either of us to take off our garments to put on something sexy. I've pointed out to her that she takes off her garments and puts on a swimsuit to go swimming, but she says that's totally different. Oh well.


I follow the 3 "S" rule...sex, shower, swimming...those are the instances in which you can decide for yourself whether you are going to wear garments....since sex is the endgame to having lingerie...then personally, I don't think that it should be a problem.

Re: Poll question for women: Lingerie

PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 12:15 pm
by Ofy53
My wife has a hard time with the "lingerie" that is specialty type stuff - where if one of the kids found it, she would be highly embarassed. She also feels cheap wearing the stuff. She has been willing to wear some sexy underpants, with a tank top, or a negligee (silky, but not racey). She will use the under pants for sports, or "that time of the month", to help hold pads in place (garments don't cut it in this category). She can easily explain these items to the kids, without them thinking "Sex".

Re: Poll question for women: Lingerie

PostPosted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 11:59 pm
by Shy Dw
pastafarian wrote: I follow the 3 "S" rule...sex, shower, swimming...those are the instances in which you can decide for yourself whether you are going to wear garments....since sex is the endgame to having lingerie...then personally, I don't think that it should be a problem.


That's interesting because I've heard it as sex, sports and swimming....but maybe it's different in every culture/state.

Isn't this forum great? My husband and I have always wondered if we were the only ones that do what we do and it's nice to see other lds member's opinions and what they do. I like the idea of using a poll for something else. RM1971 could you tell me how you did that?





It would also be interesting to know how wearing lingerie is viewed by this LDS forum? I love it..it makes things nice and visual for the hubby. He used to not care to have me wear anything (honeymoon phase), but then he decided that he likes the "mystery" for the time being more.

Does one spouse wear it more than another? I wear it more than the hubby does. I love wearing it whenever we're both home. I wish we would have started that sooner because our baby is going to start being more observant...and then we'll have more kids...but most of all we're young! And we should be experiencing everything we can at least once to see if we like it... and then keep doing it while we're young.

Does one spouse have to ask the other to wear lingerie? or is it done voluntarily? My hubby used to have to remind me to wear it...because for a while I was getting really discouraged with our sex life, but ever since we both started wearing lingerie whenever we're home together, our sex life has shot through the roof.

Any recommendations of good websites or places to buy lingerie? that is tasteful and doesn't have pornography on the website? We absolutely love Fredricks of hollywood...they have great stuff that is tasteful and I love almost everything they have. And of course I love Victoria Secret!There's this website too for other things besides lingerie: http://yourpassionconsultant.com/consul ... anta01.php. I'm not sure if you have to be a consultant to order, but it doesn't look like it.

Any brands of lingerie that you can recommend? Hmm...brands no, just the stores mentioned above.

Is lingerie worn only on special occasions in your marriage (i.e. anniversary, Valentine's day, etc)? Like I said...life is too short to only be intimate twice a year. Seriously, you are missing out if you don't do it more than once a week!

What's your favorite lingerie? I love the matching lace-y tank top and undies, but sometimes I love wearing teddies (and I would never have thought to wear those a few years ago because I was super conservative, but since then, my husband and I have become more liberal in the bedroom. We figured we might as well try everything once to see if we like it.) and I like to wear garters...didn't use to, but the way my hubby looks at me with it on makes me want to never take it off.

Other ideas, thoughts, comments on lingerie? I really wish women in the church could see past the super conservative side of things when it comes to sex, because it is so amazing once you get past that. I especially wish lds parents wouldn't teach their kids that sex is bad their whole life...because of course their going to be confused once they can actually go for it when they're married and then everything else that goes along with it they're afraid of (lingerie, anal, oral, etc.)

Well, not sure if my opinion helps, but I'm really hoping to reach out to wives who could really do so much for that part of the relationship.

Re: Poll question for women: Lingerie

PostPosted: Wed Nov 12, 2008 1:12 pm
by KRP5
My wife does not seem to be affected by what I wear, but I am very[b] visual. I love seeing her in tight, skimpy panties, but she rarely wears them and I do not want to ask almost all the time. I want her to want me, to need me, to desire me, for her to dress to please her and me. I would feel more attractive if she were affected if I wore lingerie. Just as it is wonderful for a husband to present his wife with flowers, etc. without asking because he wants to, it is wonderful for a wife to present her husband with physical intimacy without asking because she wants to -- I hope to teach that to my daughters, and I hope my daughters' young women teachers do the same!!![/b]

PostPosted: Wed Nov 12, 2008 5:39 pm
by Shy Dw
Have you talked to her about this? I think that's the #1 issue everyone needs to work out( for whoever is having this problem) is communication and being open about your sex life....seriously, once my husband and I did that everything flowed (even though it took a couple of years to finally communicate).

I would let her know that exact thing you just said...it is important for wives to give to their husbands sexually and them back to their wives just as the wives would want you to bring her flowers because YOU WANT to. If only she knew...I wish I could have told myself a few years ago (I was just like your wife) how amazing it can be for the both of you and how much better it makes everything else in your life.

I'm definitely not an expert, but my suggestion is keep asking her to wear things and let her know what it does for you. Don't give up. She will want to eventually. My husband didn't give up and kept trying to talk to me openly and finally something triggered to make me want to initiate almost everything and it has been amazing.

Re: Poll question for women: Lingerie

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 2:20 am
by Zoeys_Lover
rm1971 wrote:Does one spouse wear it more than another?

What can a man wear that would be of interest to the wife? My wife is not a visual person, but a touchy-feely person. I asked her once if there was anything she would like me to wear, and she laughed stating, "What exactly would you wear?" I'm not sure. Any thoughts on this?

rm1971 wrote:Does one spouse have to ask the other to wear lingerie? or is it done voluntarily?

Mostly yes, I have in the past had to ask her to put something on for me. She is happy to oblige. There has been a fair amount of initiation on her part, though I wish she would do it more. ;) (love you honey)

rm1971 wrote:Any recommendations of good websites or places to buy lingerie? that is tasteful and doesn't have pornography on the website?

Frederick's and Victoria's Secret. Never had any issues with those two.

rm1971 wrote:Is lingerie worn only on special occasions in your marriage (i.e. anniversary, Valentine's day, etc)?

It is worn on those events as well as other times.

rm1971 wrote:What's your favorite lingerie?

I have a thing for her in long gowns, but that's just me. But anything that shows off her assets, from small peeks to flaunting.

rm1971 wrote:Other ideas, thoughts, comments on lingerie?

From a male perspective, I think it's great. From what I understand, most men are very visual in their sexual nature. It's not just the bare naked body that turns us on, it's the small peeks and teasing you can do with lingerie. It's showing enough to keep our interest. Sometimes what you don't show is the best part. Over the years, we have bought several items for the wife to wear. She will pull them out once in a while, but not as often as I would like even with my asking. She seems to think wearing them too much would take the surprise out of them. I don't think it would. We had yet another discussion about this not too long ago (we seem to listen/hear each other much better if we are apart, like now when I am deployed). I think she finally understands that I want her to dress sexy for me, even if it's just to be eye candy for the evening. I'm talking about tank tops, short shorts, comfortable things for her that are pleasing to my eye. She's already gone out and bought several things for when I return. Along those same lines, I think she also now understands that putting on something extra nice, like a teddy or whatnot when she is in the mood, and I might not be can quickly raise my desire level.