What do you consider okay? Part 1

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What activities do you consider okay within an LDS marriage?

Yes, to oral sex
178
21%
No, to oral sex
2
0%
Yes, to the use of porn together
62
7%
No, to the use of porn together
108
13%
Yes, to private photos and/or videos of each other
156
18%
No, to private photos and/or videos of each other
16
2%
Yes, to solo masturbation (with spouses's consent)
129
15%
No, to solo masturbation (even with spouses's consent)
31
4%
Yes, to mutual masturbation (watching each other masturbate)
168
20%
No, to mutual masturbation (watching each other masturbate)
11
1%
 
Total votes : 861

What do you consider okay? Part 1

Postby Ofy53 » Wed Feb 02, 2011 4:08 pm

This poll is designed to see what people's opinions are - about what is, or is not, acceptible for LDS Married couples. Please vote yes, or no, to each of the questions.
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Re: What do you consider okay? Part 1

Postby Ofy53 » Wed Feb 02, 2011 4:39 pm

If there are other questions that you would like to see posted as "Part 4" of this series of surveys, either comment here or send me a private message on the board.
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Re: What do you consider okay? Part 1

Postby beeny » Wed Feb 02, 2011 6:03 pm

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Last edited by beeny on Fri Feb 17, 2012 4:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: What do you consider okay? Part 1

Postby zookie » Tue Apr 05, 2011 12:35 am

Yes to oral sex
No to porn
Yes to your own porn of each other (if you are into that)
Yes to mutual masturbation
No to solo masturbation
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Location: Washington State

Re: What do you consider okay? Part 1

Postby Ofy53 » Fri Apr 08, 2011 1:22 pm

Zookie, do you think solo masturbation can be okay IF both husband and wife have given consent to eachother, with certain conditions?
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Re: What do you consider okay? Part 1

Postby zookie » Mon Apr 11, 2011 2:50 am

Ofy53 wrote:Zookie, do you think solo masturbation can be okay IF both husband and wife have given consent to eachother, with certain conditions?


For myself and my husband I do not believe that is okay under normal circumstances. I've never given it a lot of thought, really, other than it's wrong, as it hasn't been an issue for me (I'm not tempted to). If my husband has masturbated at times out of sexual frustration (and I'm sure he has) I really don't want to know about it. That's my honest answer.

Now, what about during a prolonged absence or illness? I don't know. I still think solo wouldn't be a good thing. Next to each other, on the phone, on skype, or something, fine.
Then there's rejection. It's pretty frustrating for normal adults who have normal sex drives and are getting rejected in their marriage, and I can't imagine how someone would handle that kind of thing without masturbating occasionally. This is a tough issue. If the wife says, honey, go ahead and masturbate because I just don't feel like doing anything, well, in my mind the wife has sinned and caused her husband to sin. Then there's the, go ahead and do it but hurry up and get it over with sex. Isn't that like masturbating into your wife? I imagine it might feel that way. Again, in that case could it be that the wife is sinning? Or at least transgressing?

Okay, then I think about a woman doing it to get to know her body and understand her sexual response so she can teach it to her husband. Or just so she can learn to have an orgasm. Is that wrong? Well, no, I don't think so. In fact, I would encourage that as helpful and healthy for a marriage. That's pretty different from thinking, boy, do I feel horny right now. I think I'll go *** in the shower. I think maybe that scenario is part of mastering our physical appetites. That might sound like something of a double standard--more lenient to a woman--but I've never heard of a man that had to figure out how to have an orgasm or even figure out what felt good to him in that way. A man's anatomy is not that complicated.

My dad was a bishop and he has made comments about agreeing with certain individuals in other religions except in their beliefs about masturbation, because other churches don't really consider it a sin. There's nothing in the bible about it. I don't think there is anything in any of the Standard Works about it. Does that make it okay? Well, our general authorities have made it very clear that it is a sin. There's no gray area that I have noticed. So I guess I'm sticking with that.

These are just a few of my rambling, disjointed thoughts on something I haven't really spent much time thinking about before. And as I'm reading over it, this post is clear as mud.

There you go.
z
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Re: What do you consider okay? Part 1

Postby old.geezer » Mon Apr 11, 2011 11:02 am

zookie wrote:My dad was a bishop and he has made comments about agreeing with certain individuals in other religions except in their beliefs about masturbation, because other churches don't really consider it a sin. There's nothing in the bible about it. I don't think there is anything in any of the Standard Works about it. Does that make it okay? Well, our general authorities have made it very clear that it is a sin.


Since masturbation is not mentioned anywhere in thousands of years of scripture, how come it's suddenly a sin in the 19th century? Why weren't the folks told a thousand years ago that it's a sin?

And if Heavenly Father actually does consider it a sin, could His lack of mentioning it indicate that it's an extremely minor one?
Last edited by old.geezer on Tue Apr 12, 2011 11:15 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: What do you consider okay? Part 1

Postby zookie » Mon Apr 11, 2011 3:44 pm

old.geezer wrote:
zookie wrote:My dad was a bishop and he has made comments about agreeing with certain individuals in other religions except in their beliefs about masturbation, because other churches don't really consider it a sin. There's nothing in the bible about it. I don't think there is anything in any of the Standard Works about it. Does that make it okay? Well, our general authorities have made it very clear that it is a sin.


Since is not mentioned anywhere in thousands of years of scripture, how come it's suddenly a sin in the 19th century? Why weren't the folks told a thousand years ago that it's a sin?

And if Heavenly Father actually does consider it a sin, could His lack of mentioning it indicate that it's an extremely minor one?


How do we know folks weren't told? I certainly don't. Isn't that one of the functions of the prophets? To fill in some blanks? To be the mouthpiece of the Lord?

Is masturbation a heinous sin? In my mind I highly doubt it. I, personally, would rank it right up there with speeding.
Anyway, I'm certainly not going to counsel anyone in the matter. It's not up to me. I'm not in a position of sexual frustration and it's not a sin I'm tempted with. Hence my rambling post. Notice that I put plenty of blame on a wife for not being there for her husband (or vise versa, I suppose). If it is a sin, then the rejecting partner has a lot to answer for, in my opinion. Lots of thoughts and no good solution. But I choose to follow the prophet.

z
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Re: What do you consider okay? Part 1

Postby zookie » Tue Nov 22, 2011 8:46 pm

zookie wrote:Yes to oral sex
No to porn
Yes to your own porn of each other (if you are into that)
Yes to mutual masturbation
No to solo masturbation


After lots of time on this board and hearing what everyone has to say about it, I've changed my opinion completely about solo masturbation. I now think it's completely okay to do, married or otherwise, as long as it doesn't become compulsive and get in the way of your real relationship with your spouse.

What do you guys think of that ha ha!
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Re: What do you consider okay? Part 1

Postby HighDriveMormon » Tue Nov 22, 2011 9:27 pm

Congrats Zookie! Join the bus headed to Purgatory (at least what the Church culture wants us to believe).

But once we actually use our brains and reason our way through this subject, it becomes very clear that the answer isn't as clear as the church would have us believe. Good for you for using your own experience, logic and judgment to come up with your own opinion that should be just between you and your husband (and the Lord but not the "church").

Enjoy!!
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