Dirty chatting online

A place to post Polls.

Moderators: zookie, Mrs J, mariabronn

Re: Dirty chatting online

Postby monkey55 » Sat Apr 02, 2016 5:37 pm

edoh wrote:Just stop it and talked to the lord about it.

Thanks. .I'm going to!
User avatar
monkey55
 
Posts: 124
Joined: Wed Nov 04, 2015 2:38 pm

Dirty chatting online

Postby edoh » Sat Apr 02, 2016 7:36 pm

But no lying I still like it so its hard
edoh
 
Posts: 39
Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2014 12:03 am

Re: Dirty chatting online

Postby monkey55 » Sun Apr 03, 2016 3:25 pm

I've been trying to stop since January 2016..... i stop but then want to look at pictures. .. i chat no looking at pictures. ..I don't masterbater. ... I'm going to make it this time
User avatar
monkey55
 
Posts: 124
Joined: Wed Nov 04, 2015 2:38 pm

Re: Dirty chatting online

Postby KSSunflower » Sun Apr 03, 2016 4:02 pm

Good luck. Edoh is probably correct. If it is something we feel we have to hide from our spouse because they wouldn't approve, we shouldn't be doing it. It's alluring, especially if your spouse isn't on the same page. Keeping secrets is an unnecessary burden you don't want. Plus you put yourself at risk of one, or both, developing feelings and becoming attached. That can have undesirable consequences as well. If you desire to stop, I believe you will eventually have the strength to stop completely. It will be difficult at first. Pay close attention to the times you feel bored or lacking something. I think those are the times we are most tempted. When we are busy doing better things, it will hardly be missed.

Would anybody feel differently if a spouse was okay with it, maybe encouraged it? I know some of the men have expressed before wishing to catch their wife self-stimulating or looking at soft porn because it would show she is being sexual. How does this compare?
User avatar
KSSunflower
 
Posts: 2764
Joined: Mon May 11, 2009 1:24 am

Re: Dirty chatting online

Postby monkey55 » Sun Apr 03, 2016 11:25 pm

KSSunflower wrote:Good luck. Edoh is probably correct. If it is something we feel we have to hide from our spouse because they wouldn't approve, we shouldn't be doing it. It's alluring, especially if your spouse isn't on the same page. Keeping secrets is an unnecessary burden you don't want. Plus you put yourself at risk of one, or both, developing feelings and becoming attached. That can have undesirable consequences as well. If you desire to stop, I believe you will eventually have the strength to stop completely. It will be difficult at first. Pay close attention to the times you feel bored or lacking something. I think those are the times we are most tempted. When we are busy doing better things, it will hardly be missed.

Would anybody feel differently if a spouse was okay with it, maybe encouraged it? I know some of the men have expressed before wishing to catch their wife self-stimulating or looking at soft porn because it would show she is being sexual. How does this compare?

Thx for the kind words. .. i would love it my wife was getting aroused by chatting online, self-stimulating, or porn... I would be cool with it. .but maybe that's because I know it will not happen. ....
User avatar
monkey55
 
Posts: 124
Joined: Wed Nov 04, 2015 2:38 pm

Re: Dirty chatting online

Postby Momgyver » Mon Apr 04, 2016 2:12 am

KSSunflower wrote:Good luck. Edoh is probably correct. If it is something we feel we have to hide from our spouse because they wouldn't approve, we shouldn't be doing it. It's alluring, especially if your spouse isn't on the same page. Keeping secrets is an unnecessary burden you don't want. Plus you put yourself at risk of one, or both, developing feelings and becoming attached. That can have undesirable consequences as well. If you desire to stop, I believe you will eventually have the strength to stop completely. It will be difficult at first. Pay close attention to the times you feel bored or lacking something. I think those are the times we are most tempted. When we are busy doing better things, it will hardly be missed.

Would anybody feel differently if a spouse was okay with it, maybe encouraged it? I know some of the men have expressed before wishing to catch their wife self-stimulating or looking at soft porn because it would show she is being sexual. How does this compare?

I don't think that this is the same as porn because it involves a _live_ person in _real_ time. No comparison in my mind. I'm okay with masturbation and occasional porn, but would definitely not be okay with _secretive_ sexy chatting.
User avatar
Momgyver
 
Posts: 681
Joined: Tue Sep 24, 2013 3:51 pm
Location: California

Re: Dirty chatting online

Postby Arizona » Tue Apr 05, 2016 2:04 pm

I agree with Mom - once you involve another real person it goes to another level. To me, it's a trust issue. I don't care if my wife tells me she watched some porn, but I would be furious if she was flirting with another man and connecting with him.
Arizona
 
Posts: 125
Joined: Wed Aug 27, 2014 7:20 pm

Re: Dirty chatting online

Postby KSSunflower » Tue Apr 05, 2016 2:30 pm

I understand and agree that it goes to another level and I wouldn't like it if dh were flirting and connecting with another woman either. I get what you are saying.

My issue is your saying "once you involve another real person." Porn involves another real person. The people you are watching or looking at are real. You are connecting with them on some level, though, indirectly.

Momgyver has a point that it is different in that it is real-time and it's live. Unlike porn, they are aware of YOU. It's an exchange. It is different for sure.

What if the exchange of fantasies with anonymous people online meant nothing more than the porn watched. What if they think of you while doing it? It was just a means to get aroused or get off? Is the fact that it involves another person, even if it is nothing more than words exchanged, put it in the realm of infidelity? Then can't this be said of bringing in nude photos or videos of others too, even if they are unaware of your viewing? For me, these two things aren't much different. It's not what the other person does, it's about the person who made a commitment, right? That doesn't mean it's okay to do. I am not saying that. I am trying to create conversation and get us thinking.

Also, my question was if a spouse approved. It wouldn't be secretive. Does that change the appropriateness of it at all? Maybe that's a question for Non-traditional group.
User avatar
KSSunflower
 
Posts: 2764
Joined: Mon May 11, 2009 1:24 am

Re: Dirty chatting online

Postby Arizona » Tue Apr 05, 2016 4:44 pm

Good point KS, porn actors and actresses are real, so I guess my point is what you said - that they aren't aware of the interaction and can't reciprocate. You're interacting with a photo or video of them but you're not interacting with them. To me that is very different. The porn video isn't going to ask you to meet for a hookup or have an emotional connection with you. Or send you messages and actively seek you out.

My wife would probably disagree with me. She thinks any porn, strip club, flirting - whatever - it's all cheating to her.

Now, if you're spouse wants you to do it, then I think you're heading to swinger-ville! Or at least your spouse has some interest in that.
Arizona
 
Posts: 125
Joined: Wed Aug 27, 2014 7:20 pm

Re: Dirty chatting online

Postby KSSunflower » Tue Apr 05, 2016 4:54 pm

Fair enough.

Do you feel the interaction involved on this forum to be a possible threat?
Last edited by KSSunflower on Wed Apr 06, 2016 1:02 am, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
KSSunflower
 
Posts: 2764
Joined: Mon May 11, 2009 1:24 am

PreviousNext

Return to Polls

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 9 guests

cron