Mormons, Missionaries, and Masturbation

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If you served a full-time mission, how often (if at all) did you masturbate while on yours?

Never
18
22%
Once or twice
12
15%
3 to 5 times
6
7%
5 to 10 times
4
5%
10 to 25 times
3
4%
About once a month
8
10%
About twice a month
9
11%
Weekly
15
18%
So many times I can't remember or count
7
9%
 
Total votes : 82

Re: Mormons, Missionaries, and Masturbation

Postby be64 » Fri Nov 13, 2015 2:30 am

BBoy wrote:Well, I guess I win the prize for being the most frequent Masturbating Elder; I put weekly!

:oops:


I'm not judging you in any way, but I've not had that frequency at any point in my life. I wonder however if I had not been taught that it was a sin next to murder what my frequency might have been. I sort of wish I could go back to my teenage days and see how many times a day I could masturbate. As it was, one time and the guilt was enough to keep me from doing it for several more weeks. I can hardly imagine what it might have felt like to be able to masturbate five or more times a day like I have read that some boys do.
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Re: Mormons, Missionaries, and Masturbation

Postby whmxn » Fri Nov 13, 2015 11:29 am

I put never. Honestly, I had never masturbated prior to or during my mission. Ironically, I have since being married. Looking back it would have been nice to have that release from time to time. Sure I had the occasional wet dream but I had a lot of pent up sexual tension that was never released as a teen. I remember what a challenge it was that I would get aroused by the simplest things, or at times for no reason at all. It was always the biggest challenge and embarrassment to hide my hard erection in public settings and I think if I had allowed myself to masturbate I could have avoided those situations. Once erect, it's kind of hard not to think sexual thoughts and I battled with that constantly as a teenager and at times on my mission. I remember a buddy and I used to double up our underwear when going to a pool, etc. to "tape it down" so to speak. It's kind of ridiculous when you think about it, so much sexual tension built up that it seems all my thoughts were impure. All it would have taken to clear my mind of those thoughts was a little sexual release. Even without masturbating I carried some guilt around for years because of those impure thoughts. Now that I'm married, that has left since any thought that might be considered impure tends to be about my wife and I don't consider sexual thoughts about my wife impure in the least.

Back to the original topic, our mission president spent a zone conference talking about masturbation. His words were that it was a sin that needed to be repented of, but because it didn't involve anyone else it only needed to be confessed to the Lord. If pornography was involved as well it was more serious and needed to be confessed to a church leader (Him as Mission President in this case). The only other thing I remember about masturbation on my mission was that after one of the elders in my apartment had an interview with the mission president we were all told there was now a time limit on bathroom/shower time. It was pretty obvious why that new rule came about...

I have mixed feelings about masturbation now. I certainly don't view it as such a serious sin like I did as a youth, but I'm not completely sold on it being okay either. I think there are certain circumstances where it shouldn't be looked at as a sin at all. On the other hand, I can see how it could become addictive and a problem. I guess I view it like I view drinking Coke or Dr. Pepper, etc. I don't have a problem with drinking it, or anyone else drinking it for that matter. Where I see a problem with it is if someone is addicted to it and has to have it. If I know it's something I will likely get addicted to I avoid it. What may be addictive for me won't be for someone else, and vice versa. For some people, that addiction may be Coke, for me it's not. For some people, that addiction may be masturbation, or pornography or whatever. If we become addicted to something to the point we feel we have to have it and can't think about anything else until we get a "fix", that can be a distraction to us and prevent us from feeling promptings of the spirit. That is basically the same as driving the spirit out of our lives. Again, what may cause that is different for everyone so I think it becomes a personal matter between each of us and the Lord. You know what your weaknesses are better than anyone else, so you know better than anyone else what you should be avoiding. Anyway, this ended up being a lot longer than I originally anticipated but those are my thoughts...
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Re: Mormons, Missionaries, and Masturbation

Postby be64 » Fri Nov 13, 2015 11:53 am

whmxn wrote:I put never. Honestly, I had never masturbated prior to or during my mission. Ironically, I have since being married. Looking back it would have been nice to have that release from time to time. Sure I had the occasional wet dream but I had a lot of pent up sexual tension that was never released as a teen. I remember what a challenge it was that I would get aroused by the simplest things, or at times for no reason at all. It was always the biggest challenge and embarrassment to hide my hard erection in public settings and I think if I had allowed myself to masturbate I could have avoided those situations. Once erect, it's kind of hard not to think sexual thoughts and I battled with that constantly as a teenager and at times on my mission. I remember a buddy and I used to double up our underwear when going to a pool, etc. to "tape it down" so to speak. It's kind of ridiculous when you think about it, so much sexual tension built up that it seems all my thoughts were impure. All it would have taken to clear my mind of those thoughts was a little sexual release. Even without masturbating I carried some guilt around for years because of those impure thoughts. Now that I'm married, that has left since any thought that might be considered impure tends to be about my wife and I don't consider sexual thoughts about my wife impure in the least.

Back to the original topic, our mission president spent a zone conference talking about masturbation. His words were that it was a sin that needed to be repented of, but because it didn't involve anyone else it only needed to be confessed to the Lord. If pornography was involved as well it was more serious and needed to be confessed to a church leader (Him as Mission President in this case). The only other thing I remember about masturbation on my mission was that after one of the elders in my apartment had an interview with the mission president we were all told there was now a time limit on bathroom/shower time. It was pretty obvious why that new rule came about...

I have mixed feelings about masturbation now. I certainly don't view it as such a serious sin like I did as a youth, but I'm not completely sold on it being okay either. I think there are certain circumstances where it shouldn't be looked at as a sin at all. On the other hand, I can see how it could become addictive and a problem. I guess I view it like I view drinking Coke or Dr. Pepper, etc. I don't have a problem with drinking it, or anyone else drinking it for that matter. Where I see a problem with it is if someone is addicted to it and has to have it. If I know it's something I will likely get addicted to I avoid it. What may be addictive for me won't be for someone else, and vice versa. For some people, that addiction may be Coke, for me it's not. For some people, that addiction may be masturbation, or pornography or whatever. If we become addicted to something to the point we feel we have to have it and can't think about anything else until we get a "fix", that can be a distraction to us and prevent us from feeling promptings of the spirit. That is basically the same as driving the spirit out of our lives. Again, what may cause that is different for everyone so I think it becomes a personal matter between each of us and the Lord. You know what your weaknesses are better than anyone else, so you know better than anyone else what you should be avoiding. Anyway, this ended up being a lot longer than I originally anticipated but those are my thoughts...


What time period was this? My mission was in 84-85.
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Re: Mormons, Missionaries, and Masturbation

Postby whmxn » Fri Nov 13, 2015 12:02 pm

2002-2004
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Re: Mormons, Missionaries, and Masturbation

Postby beachdreamer » Sat Nov 14, 2015 10:48 am

As I have said before, I never have had wet dreams. Like some above I am half awake when masturbating. I would often wake up highly aroused. If I didn't push it over the edge (M?), then I would wake up again in the same condition. I would try not to M due to the guilt. This made for tossing and turning, getting up to calm down - many restless nights. How I wished for a wet dream to relive the suffering. So I probably M about once or twice a month on my mission, if you count that as M. Even then I didn't really think I was guilty. While I felt guilty, I stopped confessing. I really didn't think they would understand. Today I am convinced this is not sinful at all. And I really don't think M is sinful unless done to excess that causes problems - like overeating. And for me, it seems an involuntary process to get to the point that the body is demanding release. And if I didn't let it release, then life was pretty miserable.
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Re: Mormons, Missionaries, and Masturbation

Postby MrShorty » Sat Nov 14, 2015 11:56 am

At the risk of taking the discussion away from the poll results, whmxn made a couple of comments that stood out to me.

Ironically, I have since being married. Looking back it would have been nice to have that release from time to time. Sure I had the occasional wet dream but I had a lot of pent up sexual tension that was never released as a teen. I remember what a challenge it was that I would get aroused by the simplest things, or at times for no reason at all. It was always the biggest challenge and embarrassment to hide my hard erection in public settings and I think if I had allowed myself to masturbate I could have avoided those situations. Once erect, it's kind of hard not to think sexual thoughts and I battled with that constantly as a teenager and at times on my mission. I remember a buddy and I used to double up our underwear when going to a pool, etc. to "tape it down" so to speak. It's kind of ridiculous when you think about it, so much sexual tension built up that it seems all my thoughts were impure. All it would have taken to clear my mind of those thoughts was a little sexual release. Even without masturbating I carried some guilt around for years because of those impure thoughts.


Please don't take this as "bashing the brethren" (I do want to be sensitive to that side of this issue as well), but I find this comment an interesting contradiction to Elder Packer's "To Young Men Only" (often misnamed "the little factory" talk). It seems that, if Elder Packer's model were accurate, whmxn's experience would have been the "easiest" path through adolescence. He should have been "barely aware" that he had sexually matured, because he did not tamper with it. Instead, he is stating that, in hindsight, he was intensely aware of what was happening, and that it might have been easier to release that pressure occasionally.

Not sure what that means, but I find it an interesting apparent contradiction.
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Re: Mormons, Missionaries, and Masturbation

Postby beachdreamer » Sat Nov 14, 2015 6:05 pm

MrShorty wrote:It seems that, if Elder Packer's model were accurate, whmxn's experience would have been the "easiest" path through adolescence. He should have been "barely aware" that he had sexually matured, because he did not tamper with it. Instead, he is stating that, in hindsight, he was intensely aware of what was happening, and that it might have been easier to release that pressure occasionally.

Not sure what that means, but I find it an interesting apparent contradiction.


I somewhat agree and disagree with Elder Packer's model. I think to some extent that your desire for sex/release may go up and down based on how often you use it. It seems in my experience that the more I have sex/M the more I want it to some degree given refractory. If I have sex/M twice a day, then my body wants to maintain that level.

On the other hand, where I don't agree with the model is that he implies that the desire goes away or that the body will take care of itself completely. In my experience, with my body, this is not true. Even on my mission, where I was not M, lusting, or doing anything to speed up my "factory" my body still had a minimum or baseline need for output. I think this baseline will vary significantly from person to person. For some, this baseline may be a wet dream every few months, or none at all. For others, like while on my mission, it was waking up (no we dream) needing release every week or couple of weeks. Now that I have a regular sex life, I think my baseline is more like every couple of days. I wake up pretty horny every night if we don't have sex that evening. It gets worse the next night.

So I think there may be a little truth to the "factory" idea, but it sure is not nearly as easy as Pres. Packer implies. It simply never worked for me. And I tried to make it work with MUCH effort.

I think removing the guilt of M would have made my adolescence so much less stressful. I also believe that avoiding M when the body is screaming for release makes you more susceptible to lustful thoughts, and could even make you more likely to give in to temptation to break the LOC.
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Re: Mormons, Missionaries, and Masturbation

Postby be64 » Sun Nov 15, 2015 1:24 am

Growing up I did not masturbate very often. Maybe only once every few months. I had wet dreams but not often. I did however have for years frequent testicle pain which was basically caused by excess prostate fluid backing up into the testicles when urinating. The pain would last about a half hour before subsiding. I endured this as a teenager, through my mission and college. While no one ever suggested that masturbation would relieve the problem, when I was in college a doctor commented that marriage would solve my problem. Well, marriage did solve my problem. Masturbation would have saved me a lot of pain, however I'm sure that guilt would have prevented me from doing it even if I had known it would help. Moral of the story, the little factory doesn't always regulate itself. If you are constipated you use a laxative. If your semen is backed up, you release it. It's that simple, it is a biological function. If it happens to feel good to release it, well, that can't be helped.
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Re: Mormons, Missionaries, and Masturbation

Postby BBoy » Tue Nov 17, 2015 11:32 am

whmxn wrote:Back to the original topic, our mission president spent a zone conference talking about masturbation. His words were that it was a sin that needed to be repented of, but because it didn't involve anyone else it only needed to be confessed to the Lord. If pornography was involved as well it was more serious and needed to be confessed to a church leader (Him as Mission President in this case).


Great post, whmxn! And what a great mission president you had.
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Re: Mormons, Missionaries, and Masturbation

Postby Coriander » Wed Nov 18, 2015 1:54 am

In reference to the idea that the body will just go along peacefully if you take care not to arouse sexual feelings -

I wonder how many of the General Authorities might be asexual. There's probably no way to tell.
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