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Re: Fantasy sex

PostPosted: Fri Nov 06, 2015 12:33 am
by Coriander
KSSunflower wrote:I disagree desiring her sexually is being lustful. Lust, according to my understanding, is more than desire. It is a desire that is not appropriate or righteous. Desiring your wife is completely appropriate and righteous. Still, I understand that you are trying to make an advance at your wife and she's not getting the message (perhaps even deflecting it).


Right - "lustful" was the word that came to mind, though I knew it didn't really fit.

Desire . . . I guess (bringing the thread back to its original topic) my fantasy is to have our desires align, come together, for fewer inhibitions so that desires can have more expression, and more creative expressions. I think that is what all sexual fantasy is: a wish to have desire accepted and for it to have more of a chance to be realized.

Hmm, I'll keep thinking about this.

Re: Fantasy sex

PostPosted: Fri Nov 06, 2015 12:40 am
by Coriander
beachdreamer wrote:Are you too quick because of the long buildup and low frequency? After being too quick, can you go for round 2 and last longer? (I don't remember reading any of your posts about this. Did I miss it somewhere?)


I think I was maybe lasting longer when we were trying to conceive - which was when I really started to understand the contrariness of sex. It became something like the fabled "chore" nearly every night. But this was about eight years ago, so it's hard to remember exactly. Otherwise, the frequency has some effect, in that if it's more frequent maybe I can last 20 or 30 seconds. On a couple of occasions I've even gotten past a minute.

Round 2? Hell, that's another fantasy.

Re: Fantasy sex

PostPosted: Fri Nov 06, 2015 5:04 pm
by Swish
Coriander wrote:Jack Whyte's Camulod Chronicles, while I was engaged - I imagined being woken up in the middle of the night, or reaching for my wife in the middle of the night and finding her responsive.


I've told my wife about this fantasy and she had made it come true three times now. So amazing. She did it to me once just a month ago or so. She woke me up about 30 minutes before my alarm was going to go off. She had a sexual dream and was really wanting it. She woke me up by straddling me. It took me a good number of seconds to figure out what was going on, but then I felt her naked body on top of my and my adrenaline and testosterone kicked in. Great morning.

I definitely have fantasies that we've been able to accomplish and others that will never happen of course. Our greatest fantasy would be to switch bodies with each other one night of sex so we could know exactly what it's like to experience sex from the other persons perspective.

Re: Fantasy sex

PostPosted: Fri Nov 06, 2015 6:37 pm
by Lovey
My wife likes to think that sex is important, but really it can't compete with Facebook and Pinterest.

She won't believe me when I tell her she's beautiful, because she doesn't fit the mainstream standards of beauty. I like Rubenesque figures, she wants to lose hers. I tell her she's beautiful and she says I'm sweet. Dammit woman, I'm not being sweet, I'm being lustful! I don't know if it still irks her when I get too lustful towards her body, but it has in the past, so here's a pretty catch-22.

Since your wife is into Facebook, have her check out "Eating the Food" Facebook Page- That page is all about a more healthy view of our bodies and overturning the disordered, quick fix, shame based diet culture.

My problems? I'm sensitive and polite, I don't like confrontation, and I try hard to please others. Also, I think too much, and having come to the conclusion that sex is not a gift from God but a biological burden, I am currently in the attitude of "f*** it, it really can't be that important."

Have you read "No more Mr Nice Guy?" A burden or not, it is THAT important.

Desire . . . I guess (bringing the thread back to its original topic) my fantasy is to have our desires align, come together, for fewer inhibitions so that desires can have more expression, and more creative expressions. I think that is what all sexual fantasy is: a wish to have desire accepted and for it to have more of a chance to be realized.

It's exquisite when it happens- And in long stretches of weeks and months. There really are times when all the stars line up...

Our greatest fantasy would be to switch bodies with each other one night of sex so we could know exactly what it's like to experience sex from the other persons perspective.
That would definitely be interesting. :shock:

Re: Fantasy sex

PostPosted: Mon Nov 09, 2015 12:09 am
by Coriander
Lovey wrote:Since your wife is into Facebook, have her check out "Eating the Food" Facebook Page


I'd like her to spend more time on the Wiccan/neo (or wannabe) Pagan Pin boards, since that kind of thing has gotten her feeling sensual and aroused in the past. You know, all that hedonistic, body-centered stuff that we're taught to eschew and abjure.