Fantasy sex

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Re: Fantasy sex

Postby whmxn » Wed Oct 28, 2015 5:22 pm

KSSunflower wrote:
whmxn wrote:I've always wanted my wife to wake me up for sex as well. I've even told her a few times but it's never happened and I don't really expect it to as my wife rarely initiates sex anytime, let alone during the night. I think part of the thrill for that fantasy is having DW want/need me so badly she can't wait till morning.

I've tried this a few times with dh. I found he's not very welcoming to my advances when he's asleep. He's pushed my hand away, turned over. I find it comical. Now if he's just fallen asleep or half asleep that's different. He'll definitely respond during those moments.

Perhaps waking up in the morning to it then... you could be right. I'm not sure how I'd respond when I'm dead asleep, hopefully in a positive way but who knows.
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Re: Fantasy sex

Postby jjp » Thu Oct 29, 2015 7:57 pm

Like some of the comments here, I imagine that my lower-libido wife wakes me up with her mouth on me, giving me oral. I have dreamed that on a number of occasions and woken up spent, not in her mouth but by a nocturnal emission. I still hold out hope that it will come to fruition--she knows I would enjoy very much being woken up by oral.

My wife has joked around a few times in the past about wishing polygamy would return having several sister-wives share household chores. I have chimed in about being willing to do my part to satisfy the sister wives sexually. We go back & forth about that humorously. I would never wish for polygamy to return or be with another woman, but have enjoyed the fantasy a bit with her.

I also fantasize about her initiating sex in different places--in a beautiful orchard, secluded lake . . . and in different positions. I have always wanted to take her from behind against a wall. I used to feel more uncomfortable with fantasies--like somehow they made me a pervert. I feel comfortable desiring my wife and imagining various activities with her. As I have become more comfortable "owning" my fantasies, I have felt good enough to share a bunch of them with her. She has been validating--(not judgmental), while fulfilling some fantasies--not a ton of them yet. This has been a step closer for us--I honor her lower libido by not pushing her. She honors my higher libido by not being judgmental and indulging some. Sometimes she'll string me along and say "I am too tired tonight, you imagine me going down on you and rub one out, I'll give you oral next time. Rub one out this time." That's not the best, but it beats a couple weeks of blue balls and lack of understanding. That being said, we've knocked more off the fantasy list since this arrangement than before! Big fan of fantasy. Big fan of spouse-approved masturbation to bridge the gap between fantasy and reality and to accommodate busy lives and mismatched libidos.
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Re: Fantasy sex

Postby be64 » Thu Oct 29, 2015 10:20 pm

whmxn wrote:I've always wanted my wife to wake me up for sex as well. I've even told her a few times but it's never happened and I don't really expect it to as my wife rarely initiates sex anytime, let alone during the night. I think part of the thrill for that fantasy is having DW want/need me so badly she can't wait till morning.

This actually happened to me. After ages of suggesting to my wife that she wake me up by rubbing my penis, one night she did it. She reached over and found my penis and took hold of it. I woke up startled and with a rush of adrenaline, my heart racing I sat up in bed and yelled "What are you doing!, What's going on!"

After calming down and realizing what had happened we laughed about it and went back to sleep. We learned that grabbing my penis while I am asleep is not a wise thing to do.

Another thing we learned not to do years ago is to fall asleep in each other's arms with our legs entwined. We woke up aching with our legs asleep. It looks romantic in movies, but is not a practical thing to do.
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Re: Fantasy sex

Postby be64 » Thu Oct 29, 2015 10:26 pm

jjp wrote: Sometimes she'll string me along and say "I am too tired tonight, you imagine me going down on you and rub one out, I'll give you oral next time. Rub one out this time." That's not the best, but it beats a couple weeks of blue balls and lack of understanding.


I basically tell my wife not to turn me on if she doesn't intend to let me finish. A couple weeks without sex, that's crazy.
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Re: Fantasy sex

Postby Coriander » Fri Oct 30, 2015 12:12 am

KSSunflower wrote:I don't know the novels you've read but those things don't seem very unrealistic. Maybe Scotland, unless you live there.


Jack Whyte's Camulod Chronicles, while I was engaged - I imagined being woken up in the middle of the night, or reaching for my wife in the middle of the night and finding her responsive.

Diana F***in' Gabaldon - my wife read those before I did. After getting married I started finding their sex more and more laughable in its frequency and spontaneity.

This isn't considering the Jean Auel books I skimmed as a teenager.

Part of my expectations also come from one night when I worked graveyard shift as a custodian at BYU. Cleaning up after a special event I was talking to a guy who had come in to help - a Scot, actually. He mentioned that when he was done he was going to go home and rouse his sleeping wife and I thought: wow, it must be nice to be married and be able to climb into bed and wake up my wife for some sex.

Foolish fantasy. Maybe it would be more likely if I were a muscular Scot.
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Re: Fantasy sex

Postby be64 » Fri Oct 30, 2015 12:36 am

Coriander wrote:
KSSunflower wrote:I don't know the novels you've read but those things don't seem very unrealistic. Maybe Scotland, unless you live there.

I imagined being woken up in the middle of the night, or reaching for my wife in the middle of the night and finding her responsive.

Diana F***in' Gabaldon - my wife read those before I did. After getting married I started finding their sex more and more laughable in its frequency and spontaneity.

Part of my expectations also come from one night when I worked graveyard shift as a custodian at BYU. Cleaning up after a special event I was talking to a guy who had come in to help - a Scot, actually. He mentioned that when he was done he was going to go home and rouse his sleeping wife and I thought: wow, it must be nice to be married and be able to climb into bed and wake up my wife for some sex.

Foolish fantasy. Maybe it would be more likely if I were a muscular Scot.


Perhaps you need to learn to be more demanding, or should I say assertive, or shall I say insertive.
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Re: Fantasy sex

Postby Lovey » Fri Oct 30, 2015 6:29 pm

Diana F***in' Gabaldon - my wife read those before I did. After getting married I started finding their sex more and more laughable in its frequency and spontaneity.
:lol: Not at all! :mrgreen: I find many similarities in my hot hon & Jamie.
One of our dear daughters was conceived in the middle of the night during one of those wonderful passionate moments.

Why not be spontaneous?
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Re: Fantasy sex

Postby Momgyver » Fri Oct 30, 2015 7:49 pm

Coriander wrote:
KSSunflower wrote:I don't know the novels you've read but those things don't seem very unrealistic. Maybe Scotland, unless you live there.


Jack Whyte's Camulod Chronicles, while I was engaged - I imagined being woken up in the middle of the night, or reaching for my wife in the middle of the night and finding her responsive.

This is fun for me. Either he waking me or I waking him.

Coriander wrote:Diana F***in' Gabaldon - my wife read those before I did. After getting married I started finding their sex more and more laughable in its frequency and spontaneity.

My absolute favorite. Love, love, love these. The thing I like most about Jaime's character is that he notices EVERYTHING about Claire AND he accepts her - faults and all. These are such very desirable traits in a spouse.

Coriander wrote:This isn't considering the Jean Auel books I skimmed as a teenager.

Okay, I buy this one...

Coriander wrote:Part of my expectations also come from one night when I worked graveyard shift as a custodian at BYU. Cleaning up after a special event I was talking to a guy who had come in to help - a Scot, actually. He mentioned that when he was done he was going to go home and rouse his sleeping wife and I thought: wow, it must be nice to be married and be able to climb into bed and wake up my wife for some sex.

Foolish fantasy. Maybe it would be more likely if I were a muscular Scot.

I love to be woken up for sex. It makes me feel desirable. When I feel desired, I feel sexy. When I feel sexy, I want more sex.
“Love cannot live where there is no trust.” Edith Hamilton
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Re: Fantasy sex

Postby greywolfe13 » Sun Nov 01, 2015 11:25 am

I found out my wife desired some light bondage when we visited with a sexologist about my ED. One of the exercises she gave us amounts to edging me. One evening she took a belt and bound my hands. I told her to edge me and we had a wonderful time. Now most of my fantasies include bondage type scenarios with one of us bound enough to be totally at the other's mercy. It really requires some trust to give over to the sensations completely. We have tied her up once and I found it exciting but I also ended up worried about if what I was doing to her with a large feather, some different fruits, and various parts of my body was something she enjoyed. I need to learn to read her physical signals as we try more but some health issues on her part have all this on hold for now. We get me to start functioning more regularly than before and now she is having physical problems.

She used to be a big fan of romance novels and talked me into reading a few. She has even written some that I wish she could get published, but she feels the writing isn't good enough yet. Part of being a good author is being a good story teller, which she is. I think the writing is good but since I'm a math major my opinion on that isn't worth much.

I came across some novels written about the things a family of adult siblings were doing with their partners while on an Alaskan cruise. The sex was an expression of the love they were feeling so I am really wanting to experience some of those same things. An Alaskan cruise with a balcony off the stateroom is my biggest fantasy right now. Showing that love for each other in the open while the scenery of the Inside Passage is going by is definitely on my list. The prices may make it a window instead of a balcony by the time we try to make it a reality though.
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Re: Fantasy sex

Postby Coriander » Mon Nov 02, 2015 12:53 am

These replies bring to mind a quote from Lonesome Dove: "My God but it's depressin' talkin' to you, Pete."
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