Sex for Excitement or Pleasure

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Sex for Excitement or Pleasure

Postby be64 » Wed Jul 15, 2015 11:46 pm

What drives your sex drive, excitement or pleasure? I think that for young people it is probably more the excitement that is the turn on. Once you are accustomed to having sex then I think maybe pleasure takes over.

As for myself, I have to to admit that sex isn't that exciting for me any more. However I'm enjoying the pleasure of sex more than ever. When I was young and sex was quick there was a lot of excitement but the pleasure didn't last long. Now,the pleasure goes on and on even if time and experience has taken away the novelty of it.
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Re: Sex for Excitement or Pleasure

Postby Swish » Fri Jul 17, 2015 5:38 pm

Interesting thought. I think I definitely still have excitement for sex and excitement out of sex as well as lots of pleasure. Talking with my wife about sex definitely gets us both excited and I think we both find ourselves imagining and fantasizing about each other. I can absolutely see what you're saying though.

Once you've done it all, and you both feel like you're having enough sex and aren't really longing to have it more often, I could see myself focusing more on the just the pleasure of the experience than the excitement. I still get very excited at the idea of doing so many sexual things with my wife.
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Re: Sex for Excitement or Pleasure

Postby be64 » Fri Jul 17, 2015 5:57 pm

I fantasize about BDSM with me being the submissive. Something like that where I don't know what's coming next would certainly add some excitement. My wife is opposed BDSM though.
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Re: Sex for Excitement or Pleasure

Postby greywolfe13 » Sat Jul 18, 2015 5:32 pm

Simply having hands bound, like to the head of the bed, ours is not a solid headboard so this is easy, and a blind fold on has definitely added some variety and excitement to our love life. The pleasure can be drawn out but anticipation type of excitement makes it a different experience. The last time we did some, my wife caressed me with many different textures, feather, silk, orange slice, strawberry, parts of her body, etc. Some of the teasing she did increased the excitement, but the pleasure was great too. It was a really good way to combine excitement and pleasure.

I was very surprised when my wife suggested something like this. I always thought of bondage as totally tied up and being whipped and yelled at. I'm sure there may be some people that do that, but you can make this whatever you want. There isn't a BDSM committee to make sure you are doing it correctly. I did enjoy getting my Pioneering merit badge, so maybe my wife will experience some more complete binding, as long as I learn to do it safely and without any pain. We may find she likes some pain like spanking but I definitely want the binding to be pain free.

I know with 50 Shades there has been much interest in BDSM but many feel it must be at the extreme or headed to the extreme. What I am doing is just trying new things that are baby steps until we find if there is a limit to our comfort level, which I'm sure there is but I'm not going to try to predict where that level is. The exploration adds excitement and the sensations add pleasure. You can have both.

For the record, Grey of 50 Shades was copyrighted in 2011, I was grey wolfe at least 10 years before that.
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Re: Sex for Excitement or Pleasure

Postby be64 » Sat Jul 18, 2015 7:53 pm

Yes, I don't want extreme bondage, just light bondage.
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Re: Sex for Excitement or Pleasure

Postby Bryan_LDS_husband » Tue Jul 21, 2015 12:00 pm

be64 wrote:What drives your sex drive, excitement or pleasure?



I'm mid 40's, my wife is late 30's. While neither of us will be on the cover of any magazines anytime soon, her body still drive me wild. I enjoy slipping my hand up her leg and groping her cheeks today as much as I did before we were married (in the temple). The excitement has for sure changed over the years, but it's still there. Man, I'm getting hard just thinking about having sex with her! She's an awesome romp, and we bang each other like newlyweds! And in the mean time, we've certainly increased the pleasure of it all too.
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Re: Sex for Excitement or Pleasure

Postby KSSunflower » Tue Jul 21, 2015 5:27 pm

Both. The pleasure is what excites me. If I wasn't getting pleasure I wouldn't be as excited and wouldn't want it as much. There isn't as much novelty, in that not much new or original happens. I still get excited. There are still some things we haven't done yet, that hopefully we will experience later.
"It is not sex that gives the pleasure, but the lover." ― Marge Piercy, “Sensuality is not a sexual invitation, it’s a depth invitation.” ― Lebo Grand http://mormonsexualdialogue.boards.net/, http://www.chatzy.com/24691190515294
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Re: Sex for Excitement or Pleasure

Postby Bryan_LDS_husband » Tue Jul 21, 2015 9:37 pm

KSSunflower wrote:The pleasure is what excites me.


I was thinking about this topic after I made my last post. And I agree with Sun Flower. I had to think about it for a while... what do I get excited about? Oh, of course! I get excited about the pleasure. But it's not just my pleasure I get excited about. I get excited for her pleasure as well. I know how much she loves sex, and how much a string of 6, 7, 8, 9 orgasms makes her happy, and how happy she is when I finally get my 1 :D

Yea, that's something worth getting excited about!
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Re: Sex for Excitement or Pleasure

Postby beasty8 » Thu Jul 23, 2015 5:27 pm

I am more excited over pleasuring my wife. When i drive her crazy and give her the ride of her life I love it sometimes over my own pleasure.
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