What were you taught about masturbation?

A place to post Polls.

Moderators: zookie, Mrs J, mariabronn

Re: What were you taught about masturbation?

Postby mariabronn » Tue Feb 17, 2015 4:51 pm

Maybe the key is to help the ladies learn how to play and how to enjoy it and then perhaps they may not be as anxious about their men masturbating.
mariabronn
 
Posts: 1701
Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2011 1:49 am
Location: TimBukTu

Re: What were you taught about masturbation?

Postby zos » Tue Feb 17, 2015 6:58 pm

I personally would love it if I caught my wife masturbating. In the past I have told her it would be OK with me, but she is totally opposed to even talking about it. It upsets her. There's not really much I can do to get her to loosen up on the issue. If she goes there, it's going to have to be from within herself.
zos
 
Posts: 62
Joined: Thu Jul 03, 2014 5:01 pm

Re: What were you taught about masturbation?

Postby BBoy » Wed Feb 18, 2015 12:35 pm

mariabronn wrote:Maybe the key is to help the ladies learn how to play and how to enjoy it and then perhaps they may not be as anxious about their men masturbating.


I think there is a lot of truth to this.
BBoy
 
Posts: 542
Joined: Fri Oct 07, 2011 3:32 pm

Re: What were you taught about masturbation?

Postby UtahAl » Wed Feb 18, 2015 10:57 pm

boy, this is a pretty popular topic. Maybe it is because no one can figure out exactly why it is supposed to be wrong.

Like most young men, I was taught that masturbation is bad. I am not sure how or when--but I did get the message. I started at 11, and didn't even know what I was doing or why--it just felt good. Then, some time after (a few weeks?) I started ejaculating--that scared me. But it felt incredible, so I kept it up. I was somehow ashamed, though I hadn't been told it was wrong.

A year or two later I read the Strength of Youth hand book, and tried to stay away from it--to no avail. I could go 4 or 5 days, but eventually, I would just explode. I would end up doing it 2, 3 or more times in a day. Pretty much I masturbated until I was 17.5, and getting ready for the M priesthood. I had bishops ask me directly about it from the time I was 12, and like most kids, I lied. I also didn't believe that most of the other boys were doing something so . . . Vile, evil, dirty, wrong . . . you pick the word.

I was caught by my parents one time, and kind of got the message that it was wrong and that I should quit. My dad even suggested that I talk to the bishop, but I never did.

When I was 18 I told my bishop and stake pres. that I wouldn't do it any more, and I intended to keep my word. Pretty much, I quit. It was hard--my "factory" did not slow down (ever), and I was horny from then until I married. I remember sleepless nights. I would go to bed, take a long time to fall asleep, then wake up about 1-2 with raging hormones and a huge hard on. I would lay there and try to go back to sleep ,which I usually did about 5am--but my alarm always went off at 6. I slept through college.

I also had a couple of slip ups--I remember on my mission, waking up with a raging hard on, sweaty and breathing hard--I had woken up in the middle of a dream. I reach down there and just touched it for a second--it felt so good--and that is all it took. The big o came fast. I spoke to the mission president about it at our next conference--I think he told me not to take the sacrament for a week. pretty much the same thing happened in college.

Dating was more interesting--I would be making out an just the close contact and hormones would push me over the top (I wasn't levi loving or anything like it). After the first couple of times that that happened, the bishop told me not to worry about it--I was just on a "hair trigger".

Since I have been married, I have occasionally done the deed--my wife has told me anytime that I can't sleep (and she isn't there) to just do it, or if I would rather do that than sex, that is OK too. I don't do often, preferring sex, but have license too as long as it doesn't interfere with our intimate relationship.

We have been having an in-depth discussion of sex with the kids for FHE this month, starting with anatomy, reproduction/babies, STD's birth control and Abortions, and next week Church stuff, including self control, masturbation, emotional bonding in sex, chastity, etc. We plan on teaching the kids that sex is wonderful when done correctly (marriage) and that while we should be working for self control, masturbation a normal part of teenage adolescence--especially in boys. It isn't a big deal unless it becomes and addiction or otherwise out of control--if it is something that they do once in a while, no big deal. We aren't teaching them that it is not a sin--we believe it probably is--but that it isn't a big sin. forget about it and move on.
UtahAl
 
Posts: 155
Joined: Sun Aug 31, 2014 11:23 pm
Location: UT

Re: What were you taught about masturbation?

Postby BBoy » Thu Feb 19, 2015 2:32 pm

Thanks so much for sharing, UtahAl! I think your story is quite common in the Church. How sad that you were encumbered with needless guilt for lying to your bishop as a youngster for something that every other boy was also doing. I admire your forthrightness in bringing it up with your priesthood leaders later on and am glad that none of them were freaked out by it. What a great wife you have, and so wonderful that you are passing along a healthy attitude to your next generation.
BBoy
 
Posts: 542
Joined: Fri Oct 07, 2011 3:32 pm

Re: What were you taught about masturbation?

Postby mariabronn » Tue Mar 24, 2015 8:27 am

zos wrote:I personally would love it if I caught my wife masturbating. In the past I have told her it would be OK with me, but she is totally opposed to even talking about it. It upsets her. There's not really much I can do to get her to loosen up on the issue. If she goes there, it's going to have to be from within herself.

Where do the girls/women learn such hatred/contempt for masturbation?
mariabronn
 
Posts: 1701
Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2011 1:49 am
Location: TimBukTu

Re: What were you taught about masturbation?

Postby BBoy » Tue Mar 24, 2015 5:07 pm

Look on this board for other threads about Good Girl Syndrome.
BBoy
 
Posts: 542
Joined: Fri Oct 07, 2011 3:32 pm

Re: What were you taught about masturbation?

Postby The Captain » Sun Aug 02, 2015 4:55 am

I enjoy sex with a gorgeous female. But there is not one thing wrong with masturbating. Please excuse me, gonna rub one out.
The Captain
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2015 10:37 pm

Re: What were you taught about masturbation?

Postby BBoy » Tue Sep 22, 2015 1:03 pm

I agree, oh The Captain, my The Captain.

If anyone wants to talk about this topic more on my Slack chat group, just PM me and I'll invite you.
BBoy
 
Posts: 542
Joined: Fri Oct 07, 2011 3:32 pm

Re: What were you taught about masturbation?

Postby olivegardenofzenos » Thu Oct 01, 2015 2:22 pm

You know, it wasn't until I had a bishop (our current bishop) tell us in adults only combined third hour that "M was a violation of the LOC," that I had issues with it. I knew the church said it was wrong but I saw no where in any church material where it said that it was a violation of the LOC.

Being a convert, I didn't have LDS parents and they believed M was OK and so I believed it too. I was a "frequent flyer" on the solo plane before I was married but was chaste until our wedding. Yes, as the age of 31, my wife was my first and will be my only while we are on earth together. However, there are certainly times when only I have an itch and she doesn't so I have ... piloted without backup, so to speak.

I realize that our bishop did not have the authority to make that kind of declaration. I am mostly convinced it is not wrong as of now.

My advice: unless you are recovering from compulsive porn or a sexual addiction, or are going to be out on a mission, to not worry too terribly much about giving in to "the hand." Especially if you have the urge to ... have a copilot other than your spouse, or to look at porn as a non-porn addict.

I hope I made sense.
olivegardenofzenos
 
Posts: 18
Joined: Sun Oct 14, 2012 10:25 pm

PreviousNext

Return to Polls

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest