Poll: Pornography Use

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Poll: Pornography Use

Postby Mastodon » Wed Jan 07, 2009 12:01 am

Given some of the responses in recent active topics (e.g. Shame and Obsession), I thought it might be interesting to prepare a poll about the use of pornography among the forum users. Since the forum software only allows a single poll question, I've prepared a survey using eSurveysPro. The survey is anonymous, so, Lurkers, please join in!

NOTE: Right-click and open this in a new window....it does not return you to this page when you are finished.
Click here to take the survey
Summary of responses to date
Last edited by Mastodon on Fri Oct 28, 2011 5:05 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Poll: Pornography Use

Postby Mastodon » Thu Jan 08, 2009 1:56 am

As promised, here are the current results of the survey. It isn't a huge sample (feel free to continue taking the survey and I will update the results as necessary). While these results may not reflect the Church population at large, I believe they at least provide a snapshot of a group of church members that is larger than we would believe. Since I'm not a professional, I'm sure some of the questions were worded incorrectly and may have had an impact on the result.

I'm not a statistician, but a couple of things I found very interesting:

1) All of the respondents so far were male. (Do women not feel comfortable answering questions on this topic?)
2) 80% felt that pornography was wrong in most cases, and yet 100% admitted that they had sought out pornography.
3) 80% were exposed to porn before they were 14 years old. (This statistic scares me!)
4) 50% were given porn by a friend or family member
5) 70% felt a strong attraction to porn and constantly feel the urge to view it (This doesn't surprise me...I think most people could answer in this way because of "the natural man")
6) The most common feeling after viewing was "Shame" and probably reflects the feelings in #2
7) 80% had viewed pornography within the past month (This was perhaps the most surprising to me)
8) The internet was by far the primary source of porn
9) The home computer was the most common means of access
10) Half had discussed their porn use with their spouse and/or their bishop
11) 90% were OK with homemade porn, but only 30% had made it
12) Responses were mixed about porn use with a spouse
13) Materials considered to be porn deal mostly with nude photos or videos of sexual acts (I'm surprised that some of the other categories were not considered porn in some cases)
14) 80% expected to have a slip-up in the future, but would continue to try

There you have it. I'm interested to hear your thoughts about any of the questions, or the results.

Summary of responses to date
Last edited by Mastodon on Fri Oct 28, 2011 5:06 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: Poll: Pornography Use

Postby Max » Thu Jan 08, 2009 5:46 pm

Mastodon,

Thank you so much for putting together that poll. I think it's very valuable information for all of us. Those of us who thought we were all alone in this situation can see that we're not that different. Just knowing that has been very therapeutic for me, not to mention being able to share my situation and feelings with the rest of you. I'm amazed by how much my outlook has brightened and how much less I seem to be attracted to porn right now.

Max
Last edited by Max on Mon Feb 02, 2009 9:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Poll: Pornography Use

Postby Mastodon » Thu Jan 08, 2009 5:55 pm

I've found the poll results very interesting and helpful as well. I've been thinking, however, that I would hate for this to just highlight a problem, and not provide any way to help people out of it. Does anyone know anything about the best approach to deal with addictions/habits like this? Just being able to verbalize and share my feelings about it has made a huge impact on me, like Max said. Would there be any value to anyone to create an on-line support group to allow individuals to take accountability and offer support to each other? It seems to me that while it is stretching the mission of this forum, it certainly would go a long way to improving marriages, spirituality and intimacy for a lot of people.
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Re: Poll: Pornography Use

Postby Jgtrs » Fri Jan 09, 2009 4:29 am

Nice work, Mastodon. I can tell you spent a lot of time doing this. We thank you.

Unfortunately, few inferences or guesses can be made with so few participants, but it's still interesting.

I thought something that was very interesting was the fact that none of the 10 participants felt that porn would have a major effect on their marriage and life. So, although all 10 have viewed porn and most expect they will (for whatever reason) view porn again, none feel that it will have a major effect.

Are they (or we) fooling ourselves? Or is there something telling us that for most people, porn is not a big major deal.

Something else I noticed: A couple of questions had very few responses. I don't remember seeing those questions, so possibly they were not available when most of us took the survey.
Last edited by Jgtrs on Tue Feb 03, 2009 10:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Poll: Pornography Use

Postby Mastodon » Fri Jan 09, 2009 10:22 am

Thanks, Jgtrs. I hope the poll can spur some discussion about this topic. I think it could help a lot of people (or at least 10 of us?) ;)
Last edited by Mastodon on Fri Aug 08, 2014 10:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Poll: Pornography Use

Postby mikeutah » Fri Jan 09, 2009 12:31 pm

You can probably guess that I was the sole "former member" to complete the survey. I hope you will find my experience and perspective valuable even if you don't agree with it. I for one do not think that porn is or should be something that will gravely affect our marriage. It really only becomes such if one spouse chooses to make it so. Even when I was a believing member, when I confessed my problem with porn and masturbation to my wife, she did not make a big deal out of it and we are faithfully committed and in love still today. However, I have a friend who's wife choose to leave him over his porn "addiction" even though at the time she left, he had been clean of it for over 6 months. So again, I think it really only gravely affects our marriage relationship when one spouse chooses to make it such.

Now from a retrospective perspective (say that 10 times fast :lol: ); My wife and I are very open with each other regarding our sexuality, fantasies, desires, porn, masturbation etc. We both know that on occasions we both need a natural high when the other isn't accessible and will then relieve our sexual tension on our own (masturbation). For me, that sometimes includes the use of porn. My wife is 100% okay with that and is not bothered by it in the least. Sometimes she wants to watch some with me, other times not. In discussing the issue of porn with other friends who are more or less in the same position as us, it is not something that gravely affects their marriages either. In fact, it's something that sometimes enhances it.

Now I am not sharing this to promote or justify the use of porn, but to support the idea that porn really doesn't have to gravely affect the marriage relationship and really only does so when one spouse chooses to make it such. I hope my more or less outsider's perspective is helpful in this regard.
-Mikeutah
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Re: Poll: Pornography Use

Postby Jgtrs » Fri Jan 09, 2009 3:56 pm

I think I mentioned this in a previous post in another thread, but I have noticed on about four occasions that my wife's sexual interest and sexual response was VERY much inhanced after porn exposure, which led to a wonderful and intimate sexual experience for the both of us (I'm assuming it was good for her too). Now, my wife certainly does not seek out porn (she may have in the past, but only briefly and I'm sure she doesn't anymore). These exposures have been truly accidental. Earlier in our marriage, when we allowed ourselves purposeful exposure (non-accidental) to sexually oriented how-to videos or soft porn, she had similar reactions (all positive, in my opinion). That makes me think that she may be working under a high level of repression... repressing these sexual feelings and desires, that come out in bursts at times after such exposure. I don't know.

As you might imagine, I have thus developed some rather ambivalent feelings about porn. You probably read my long post about it already. Yeah, I know it's a great illusion. I know it can be bad for relationships. I know we've been counseled to avoid it. Yet... it has helped us (in my opinion), because after the accidental exposure and subsequent intimate connection, we are closer, tighter, and more bonded together. At least, from my perspective. Is there an amount that would actually be helpful for some couples? I don't know, but I have a feeling that there may be.

Things I don't know: Maybe wife has had more accidental exposures that lead to nothing, that I'm not even aware of. Maybe there is another confound at play and "wife porn exposure" leading to "better intimacy" is merely a correlation and not causation. I don't know. It is confusing, but I cannot dismiss these observations.
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Re: Poll: Pornography Use

Postby Mastodon » Fri Jan 09, 2009 4:49 pm

Thanks for your observations, Jgtrs.
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Re: Poll: Pornography Use

Postby rm1971 » Fri Jan 09, 2009 5:13 pm

mikeutah wrote:You can probably guess that I was the sole "former member" to complete the survey. I hope you will find my experience and perspective valuable even if you don't agree with it. I for one do not think that porn is or should be something that will gravely affect our marriage. It really only becomes such if one spouse chooses to make it so. Even when I was a believing member, when I confessed my problem with porn and masturbation to my wife, she did not make a big deal out of it and we are faithfully committed and in love still today. However, I have a friend who's wife choose to leave him over his porn "addiction" even though at the time she left, he had been clean of it for over 6 months. So again, I think it really only gravely affects our marriage relationship when one spouse chooses to make it such.

Now I am not sharing this to promote or justify the use of porn, but to support the idea that porn really doesn't have to gravely affect the marriage relationship and really only does so when one spouse chooses to make it such. I hope my more or less outsider's perspective is helpful in this regard.


I feel the need to comment and, mikeutah, I too hope that you will find my perspective valuable even if you don't agree with it. It sounds like you are rationalizing the use of porn. We all see the negative effects of porn every day. There is no denying that it leads to the destruction of families, to the abuse of children, to the disintegration of moral values, tetc, etc.
It is a slipperly slope and it sounds like you are justifying your place at the top of the slide. It also sounds like you are saying "porn is only a problem if my wife makes it one." Is that the same for domestic violence, drug/alcohol abuse, having an affair...i.e. "using drugs is only a problem if my wife makes it a problem"?? I would say no. Just because your wife doesn't have a problem with porn, doesn't make it acceptable.
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